[G]Ever since that door hit her rear
Its been a [E]steady diet of [E7]pizza and beer
And [A]chips and twinkies from [D]down at the corner [G]store
[G]No more more work-outs at the gym
My [E]guts got bigger, though my [E7]hair's still thin
But [A]I don't think I can [D]take it any[G]more
[Em]I've got to forget about [G]my ex wife
And [Em]unload all this baggage that I've [G]got
[Em]Though I'm not in the best shape [G]of my life
[A]I'll get back among 'em and [D]give it my best [D7]shot
With him [G]peaking out beneath my shirt,
it [E]makes it very [E7]hard to flirt
But [A]me and my beer belly will be [D]hanging out to[G]night
[G]I'll go back to my local saloon
[E]Make an entrance in[E7]to the room
I'll [A]strut my stuff and [D]show 'em that I'm [G]back
[G]And I'll be suave and oh so cool
But [E]I won't sit on a [E7]bar stool
'Cause [A]its not sexy to [D]show a plumber's [G]crack
[Em]I've got to forget about [G]my ex wife
And
[Em]unload all this baggage that I've
[G]got
[Em]Though I'm not in the best shape [G]of my life
[A]I'll get back among 'em and [D]give it my best [D7]shot
Tell all the [G]cows down at the local barn
the [E]bull will be back [E7]on the farm
[A]Me and my beer belly will be [D]hanging out to[G]night
[G]Now I'll go back to the gym and I'll stay late
'Til I [E]get down to my [E7]breeding weight
I'll [A]go on a diet and [D]only drink lite [G]beer
[G]And I'll start showering and use toorhpaste
Throw [E]out them jeans flared [E7]at the waist
But [A]tonight I gotta [D]just get out of [G]here
[Em]I've got to forget about [G]my ex wife
And [Em]unload all this baggage that I've [G]got
[Em]Though I'm not in the best shape [G]of my life
[A]I'll get back among 'em and [D]give it my best [D7]shot
My new [G]God-like body will make 'em say Wow!
al[E]though I look like [E7]Budha now
[A]Me and my beer belly will be [D]hanging out to[G]night