• Registered: 2010-07-01
  • Posts: 10

Topic: My first song...continued

Hi all,
Since posting my first song youtube link a week or so ago, I've done another attempt of it to people can hopefully hear the vocals a little more (i'm not using a mic and it was recorded on my web cam, so it was quite hard to do).

Anyway, comments would be more than appreciated on my hopefully improved version: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=puYlAd8M59I



Thank you smile

  • From: NY
  • Registered: 2009-08-26
  • Posts: 4,320

Re: My first song...continued

Hi!  It is a little easier to understand, I think my only issue now is your accent sad  NOT that it's a bad thing, I'm just such a NY gal.  I have issues understanding southern USA accents a lot of the time too.  I think some of the words I'm not understanding are probably because they are actually words that aren't used here in the US on a regular basis.  I heard "cheeky smile" as an example of a phrase not used here (but I get what it means).  Since this is an original song, you can post the lyrics here on the forums!  If you feel inclined, you could even type out the chords to go with it and make it all pretty (with chopro formatting) and print it out for your love and for others to try their hand at playing and singing too.  I really love the progression and the chorus really sticks in my head!

Art and beauty are in the eyes of the beholder.
What constitutes excellent music is in the ears of the listener.

mekidsmom's Website

  • Registered: 2010-07-01
  • Posts: 10

Re: My first song...continued

Thanks very much! I know what you mean about expressions and stuff! haha.
Lyrics are:

Light ash scours ‘cross the sea,            
Makes the water taste salty               
Dunes of peach are out of reach           
A long way is my est’ry               

On the horizon, dawn has broken
The sun it smiles, a rosso corsa
Strange shapes move and tessalate
I have found my est’ry

I wrote a song for you
Because you asked me to
I wrote a song for you
To say I love you
I wrote a song for you
To hear when I miss you
I wrote a song for you

Ice bergs dwell from deep within
The rippling tide which covers skin
Venus smiles a cheeky grin
I am with my est-ry

(chorus)

Tea rose plateaus sink and rise
Thoughts of castles in the mind
Roots of trees become entwined
I am with my est-ry


(chorus)


(phrases such as 'light ash' and 'tea rose' and 'rosso corsa' are shades of colours by the way smile )

  • From: NY
  • Registered: 2009-08-26
  • Posts: 4,320

Re: My first song...continued

phrases such as 'light ash' and 'tea rose' and 'rosso corsa' are shades of colours by the way

This makes a BIG difference in understanding - and what about "est-ry"? 

BEAUTIFUL lyrics!  Listening again, this makes a huge difference with having the words in front of me.  Just wonderful!!  smile  Thank you for sharing!

Art and beauty are in the eyes of the beholder.
What constitutes excellent music is in the ears of the listener.

mekidsmom's Website

  • From: Almancil, Algarve, Portugal
  • Registered: 2006-09-02
  • Posts: 6,205

Re: My first song...continued

Hi,

I cannot comment on this one as the link tells me that the video has been removed by the user and without the chords with the lyrics I cannot attempt to play it. Sorry,

Roger

"Do, or do not; there is no try"

Roger Guppy's Website