The Best Choice I Ever Made...song I started on, feel free to critique (Page 1 of 2)

nice work on the composistion kind of home spun wisdom

I bought the best, and the repair man is here "now" fixing it. 

I love this song.  Excellent writing.

Good job on this one Jim. Don't take it to heart that you've not gotten as much feedback as you'd ideally like. It maybe just takes a little time. I for one would like to hear a recording of this if you get a chance.

Also, I always think that if a song gets to just one person then it's worth writing. So well done. And keep them coming....

Oops... I've been watching the thread and hadn't realized that I didn't post yet!  Sorry Jim!   

I can't quite get the rhythm of the song just from reading it.  There's a lot of songs that I've printed out which I KNOW and have to remind myself how they go when I see them on paper.  I guess I need to hear it to really be able to comment as far as that goes.  I do really like the lyrics.  The story that goes with it is really neat.  How you could turn a little conversation like that into full lyrics is beyond me.  I've come up with a few ideas here and there, but rarely am quite able to get much further than a couple lines on my own.  I think you've got a good knack Jim!  Let us know when you have a chance to record it somehow so we can get a better grip on "how it goes"! 

Thanks folks for the feedback.  Being new at this it is always interesting to hear what others think.  I agree with you Amy (MKMom) that often the true measure of how one reacts to a song is what it sounds like to you when you hear it.  The words don't often do a service to a melody.   I think Tubatooter and Bud_wiser kind of hinted at that with their comments about hearing a recording.  I am not sure how to go about that just yet, so maybe you guys could enlighten me as to the best way to do this.

OK, I just managed to pick up a Zoom H2 recorder.  As soon as I can get it figured out, I will at least try to get some audio of how I do this.  I think it is definitely better to hear what someone had in mind when they put something together.  I did manage to play this publicly and got some great responses considering I am not really a singer and am just a newbie aspiring guitar player.  Hope to have something soon.  Thanks Bud_wiser for the response.  I'll see what I can come up with.

Okay folks, here is my first attempt at recording with my newly acquired Zoom H2.   Newbie to recording, newbie to songwriting and newbie to guitar playing.  Never imagined myself actually singing either, let alone having it out there for the whole world to hear.   Anyway, here it is; let me know what you think.  I realize I need to get better quickly with the H2 as it is super sensitive and picked up even my least movements.

After some re-thinking, I changed the title of the song to

"How I Found You"

http://www.soundclick.com/bassviking

There ya go Jim    You've been Chordieized

Great sound that comes out of such a small package, now we're looking forwards to the video.
If they ever sell the H2 up here I'll be thinking big time on spending some cash on one. Lots of great reviews ...and the proofs in the pudding.

Well Done

Kenny

Hey Bass Viking
For a newbie in all departments this really good..
Hope to hear more from you in the future.
ark

Hi Jim,

A great song and recording for a first attempt. I hope it is the first of many. I bet you will soon be a regular in the recording section .

Well done,

Roger

Attaboy Jim, I know your wife is thrilled with that one. Mine would be.
Fine first effort. You must continue, sir.
toots

Yeah, I really like this one. Your words ring true in very sense and I can tell this comes from the heart. Your wife had to of shed a tear when you sang this to her. I know mine would have! Well done indeed.