• From: BELGIUM
  • Registered: 2007-01-27
  • Posts: 3,403

Topic: twoliners, we have oneliners, have fun

- to conquer dead you have to die first.


-Q: What do a cup of coffee and Eric Clapton have in common?
-A : They both suck without Cream

-Q: What's the difference between a guitar and a tuna fish?
-A :You can tune a guitar but you can't tuna fish.

[color=blue]- GITAARDOCPHIL SAIS: TO CONQUER DEAD, YOU HAVE TO DIE[/color]   AND [color=blue] we are born to die[/color]
- MY GUITAR PLAYS EVERY STYLE = BLUES, ROCK, METAL, so I NEED TO LEARN HOW TO PLAY IT.
[color=blue]Civilization began the first time an angry person cast a word instead of a rock.[/color]

gitaardocphil's Website

  • From: BELGIUM
  • Registered: 2007-01-27
  • Posts: 3,403

Re: twoliners, we have oneliners, have fun

I think so I exist

[color=blue]- GITAARDOCPHIL SAIS: TO CONQUER DEAD, YOU HAVE TO DIE[/color]   AND [color=blue] we are born to die[/color]
- MY GUITAR PLAYS EVERY STYLE = BLUES, ROCK, METAL, so I NEED TO LEARN HOW TO PLAY IT.
[color=blue]Civilization began the first time an angry person cast a word instead of a rock.[/color]

gitaardocphil's Website

  • From: Alabama Gulf Coast
  • Registered: 2008-06-24
  • Posts: 1,819

Re: twoliners, we have oneliners, have fun

You can pick a friend and you can pick your nose but you can't pick your friend's nose.

We pronounce it "Guf Coast".
Ya'll wanna go down to the Guf?

tubatooter1940's Website

  • From: BELGIUM
  • Registered: 2007-01-27
  • Posts: 3,403

Re: twoliners, we have oneliners, have fun

hahaha never heard that one.
If my bottom was as ugly as your face, I would be afraid to go to the restroom.

[color=blue]- GITAARDOCPHIL SAIS: TO CONQUER DEAD, YOU HAVE TO DIE[/color]   AND [color=blue] we are born to die[/color]
- MY GUITAR PLAYS EVERY STYLE = BLUES, ROCK, METAL, so I NEED TO LEARN HOW TO PLAY IT.
[color=blue]Civilization began the first time an angry person cast a word instead of a rock.[/color]

gitaardocphil's Website

  • From: Alabama Gulf Coast
  • Registered: 2008-06-24
  • Posts: 1,819

Re: twoliners, we have oneliners, have fun

The doctor told the patient, "Take off you clothes and stick your tongue out the window."
"What good will that do?",  asked the patient.
The doctor says, "I'm mad at my neighbor."

We pronounce it "Guf Coast".
Ya'll wanna go down to the Guf?

tubatooter1940's Website

  • From: Alabama Gulf Coast
  • Registered: 2008-06-24
  • Posts: 1,819

Re: twoliners, we have oneliners, have fun

Henny Youngman wrote:
Those two are a fastidious couple.
She's fast and he's hideous.

We pronounce it "Guf Coast".
Ya'll wanna go down to the Guf?

tubatooter1940's Website

  • From: BELGIUM
  • Registered: 2007-01-27
  • Posts: 3,403

Re: twoliners, we have oneliners, have fun

What should happen if OBAMA, takes a regular plane and the difficulty for Chinese to pronounce "R"
B.OSAMA, by accident on his boarding pass.

[color=blue]- GITAARDOCPHIL SAIS: TO CONQUER DEAD, YOU HAVE TO DIE[/color]   AND [color=blue] we are born to die[/color]
- MY GUITAR PLAYS EVERY STYLE = BLUES, ROCK, METAL, so I NEED TO LEARN HOW TO PLAY IT.
[color=blue]Civilization began the first time an angry person cast a word instead of a rock.[/color]

gitaardocphil's Website

  • Registered: 2007-04-03
  • Posts: 3,489

Re: twoliners, we have oneliners, have fun

A guy goes to the docs lol

Said Docs  " I feel like a ham ! go home said the Doc " Your Cured !


lol

Why Blend in with the Crowd ? When you were made to stand out !
  • From: Alabama Gulf Coast
  • Registered: 2008-06-24
  • Posts: 1,819

Re: twoliners, we have oneliners, have fun

My wife and always hold hands.
If I let go, she shops.

We pronounce it "Guf Coast".
Ya'll wanna go down to the Guf?

tubatooter1940's Website

  • From: Amble, Northumberland,England.
  • Registered: 2009-10-16
  • Posts: 24

Re: twoliners, we have oneliners, have fun

My Wife got mad at me the other day for not opening the car door for her ! (I just panicked and swam for the surface) !

cheers.
gag.

Strats Rule Forever !!!!!!!!!!!!

11 Reply by gitaardocphil (edited by gitaardocphil 2010-01-06 15:37:12)

  • From: BELGIUM
  • Registered: 2007-01-27
  • Posts: 3,403

Re: twoliners, we have oneliners, have fun

IN A RESTROOM DOWN UNDER:
The painter's work was all in vain
the s...house poet has struck again

[color=blue]- GITAARDOCPHIL SAIS: TO CONQUER DEAD, YOU HAVE TO DIE[/color]   AND [color=blue] we are born to die[/color]
- MY GUITAR PLAYS EVERY STYLE = BLUES, ROCK, METAL, so I NEED TO LEARN HOW TO PLAY IT.
[color=blue]Civilization began the first time an angry person cast a word instead of a rock.[/color]

gitaardocphil's Website

  • From: BELGIUM
  • Registered: 2007-01-27
  • Posts: 3,403

Re: twoliners, we have oneliners, have fun

What do you call a guitar player without a girlfriend?
A: Homeless.

What's the difference between a folk guitar player and a large pizza?
A: A large pizza can feed a family of four.

What's the difference between an opera singer and a pit bull?
A: Lipstick.

[color=blue]- GITAARDOCPHIL SAIS: TO CONQUER DEAD, YOU HAVE TO DIE[/color]   AND [color=blue] we are born to die[/color]
- MY GUITAR PLAYS EVERY STYLE = BLUES, ROCK, METAL, so I NEED TO LEARN HOW TO PLAY IT.
[color=blue]Civilization began the first time an angry person cast a word instead of a rock.[/color]

gitaardocphil's Website

  • From: NY
  • Registered: 2009-08-26
  • Posts: 4,320

Re: twoliners, we have oneliners, have fun

gitaardocphil wrote:

What's the difference between an opera singer and a pit bull?
A: Lipstick.

What's the difference between a woman PMSing and a Pit Bull?
A:  Lipstick

One man walks into a bar
the next man ducks

Art and beauty are in the eyes of the beholder.
What constitutes excellent music is in the ears of the listener.

mekidsmom's Website

  • From: BELGIUM
  • Registered: 2007-01-27
  • Posts: 3,403

Re: twoliners, we have oneliners, have fun

good one, I ADORE WORD GAMES

[color=blue]- GITAARDOCPHIL SAIS: TO CONQUER DEAD, YOU HAVE TO DIE[/color]   AND [color=blue] we are born to die[/color]
- MY GUITAR PLAYS EVERY STYLE = BLUES, ROCK, METAL, so I NEED TO LEARN HOW TO PLAY IT.
[color=blue]Civilization began the first time an angry person cast a word instead of a rock.[/color]

gitaardocphil's Website

15 Reply by tubatooter1940 (edited by tubatooter1940 2010-01-07 16:36:31)

  • From: Alabama Gulf Coast
  • Registered: 2008-06-24
  • Posts: 1,819

Re: twoliners, we have oneliners, have fun

Why did the dog limp into the barroom?
He was looking for the scoundrel that shot his paw.

What is the difference between a woman on PMS
and a terrorist?
You can negotiate with a terrorist.

We pronounce it "Guf Coast".
Ya'll wanna go down to the Guf?

tubatooter1940's Website

  • From: Tooele Ut
  • Registered: 2006-03-04
  • Posts: 4,049

Re: twoliners, we have oneliners, have fun

Man, you hit th e nail on the head with the terrorist one. smile

You can see all my video covers on [url]http://www.youtube.com/bensonp1000[/url]
I have finally found happiness in my life.  Guitars, singing, beer and camping.  And they all intertwine wonderfully.
  • badeye
  • The Blues Fixer
  • Offline
  • From: Cape Breton Island, Canada
  • Registered: 2006-09-02
  • Posts: 3,381

Re: twoliners, we have oneliners, have fun

De horse jumped over defence, defeat before detail.   




Badeye   cool

one caper after another
  • From: Alabama Gulf Coast
  • Registered: 2008-06-24
  • Posts: 1,819

Re: twoliners, we have oneliners, have fun

Good one, badeye.
Reminds me of:
Little Johnny's teacher told him to write a sentence with the words defeat, deduct and defense in it.
Johnny wrote:
De feet of de duck went over de fence first.

We pronounce it "Guf Coast".
Ya'll wanna go down to the Guf?

tubatooter1940's Website

  • From: North Carolina
  • Registered: 2007-02-08
  • Posts: 1,914

Re: twoliners, we have oneliners, have fun

What do you call a Jamaican proctologist?

A Pokémon!




Why do they call it PMS?

MadCow was already taken!

[b][color=#FF0000]If your brain is part of the process, you're missing it. You should play like a drowning man, struggling to reach shore. If you can trap that feeling, then you have something.
[/color][/b]         [b]Peace of mind. That's my piece of mind...[/b]

Guitarpix's Website

20 Reply by tubatooter1940 (edited by tubatooter1940 2010-01-09 14:39:24)

  • From: Alabama Gulf Coast
  • Registered: 2008-06-24
  • Posts: 1,819

Re: twoliners, we have oneliners, have fun

Time flies like an arrow.
Fruit flies like a banana.

I relish the fact that you've mustard the strength to ketchup to me.

We pronounce it "Guf Coast".
Ya'll wanna go down to the Guf?

tubatooter1940's Website