Topic: Tea with the Earl of Dishwater
TEA WITH THE EARL BUVVY 20-02-09
I AM THE EARL OF DISHWATER
THIS I DO DECREE
IN ABOUT 15 SECONDS
SOME PEASANT HAD BETTER
BRING ME MY DAILY CUP OF TEA
IF IT IS NOT HERE SOON
ONE SWIFT ROYAL KICK
WILL LAND YOU ON THE MOON
SO HURRY UP NOW PEASANT
I CANNOT WAIT UNTIL JUNE
FOR MY ROYAL CUP OF TEA
HERE WE ARE YOUR HIGHNESS
HERE IS YOUR CUP OF TEA
MAY I ASK IF TWO SUGARS
WILL BE ENOUGH FOR THEE
WHAT DO YOU MEAN
YOU STUPID PEASANT
CAN’T YOU COUNT TO THREE
I AM SO SORRY YOUR HIGHNESS
HOW SILLY OF ME
NOT TO OFFER YOU THREE
BUT MAY I ADD SOME MILK
TO THE EARLS’ CUP OF TEA
WHAT IS THIS TALK OF MILK
YOU STUPID PEASANTS’ DAUGHTER
DO YOU WANT ME TO ADD YOUR NAME
TO THE VERY LONG LIST
OF THOSE THAT I AM MIGHT DECIDE TO SLAUGHTER
I AM SO SORRY GREAT EARL
PLEASE FORGIVE ME
FOR I AM NOTHING
BUT A PEASANT GIRL
TRYING TO BRING YOU SOME TEA
I DEMAND NEW CUPS
BROUGHT ON A SILVER TRAY
FOR WHAT I SEE BEFORE ME
IS NOTHING BUT SHEER DISARRAY
HURRY UP NOW PEASANT
MY THIRST IS GROWING GREAT
AND IF YOU DO NOT HURRY
YOUR HEAD WILL LAND UP
UPON MY SILVER PLATE