1 (edited by alansheeran 2009-01-03 10:11:10)

Topic: Pomes penny each !

Had some problems with the third verse and I'm not definitely finished with the last line of the chorus, but here you go : -

"Swimming in the Rain

You stirred the coals to start a spark,
Found an ember in the dark,
You tore it from its bed of ash
clutched it in your hands and asked.
If I remembered swimming in the rain?

It's burning still
It's burning still
It glows and burns and sears at will
In these end of December, dismal days

I couldn't love you more, I said
Knowing where the question led
And staring at the ceiling lest
Your eyes caught mine and somehow guessed
I well remembered swimming in the rain.

A day so hot, it hurt the eyes
The lake so cold that, no surprise,
We ended in the water - in the buff
One sight of your body was enough.
Yes, I remembered swimming in the rain.

You said that we were all alone
A little drunk and far from home
And I could warm you through, you said
And no-one else would know, you said,
That we remembered swimming in the rain.

But just like then, the weather's turned
Doused the hearth where the coals had burned,
Where once my fire had raged in you,
I take a straight and narrow route,
Though I remember swimming in the rain,

You stirred the coals to start a spark,
Found an ember in the dark,
But now I simply turn away,
And thank you for a lovely day,
Yes, I remember swimming in the rain."

"What's so funny 'bout peace, love and understandin' ."    Elvis Costello

Re: Pomes penny each !

I like this on as well, although it's of the same subject matter. Just a different way of saying the same thing. Not at all knocking it. The reason i cant write? Can't think of any other way than strait forward blunt! Good stuff again!

Re: Pomes penny each !

Alan Sheeran !

Ya wee dark horse ! When i had loads of time to be here, you never wrote anything like this to my knowlege.

This is also very very good..

Well done you.

Old Doll.

Why Blend in with the Crowd ? When you were made to stand out !

Re: Pomes penny each !

Thanks, Lena.

Guess we all have to start somewhere.

"What's so funny 'bout peace, love and understandin' ."    Elvis Costello

5 (edited by selso 2009-01-14 18:43:11)

Re: Pomes penny each !

i really wish i could write something like this. thank you for the inspiration. i even have a song called a little drunk

Everything is bad including me
But being bad is good policy
Reverend Horton Heat

Re: Pomes penny each !

hi alan,

i don't know if i was meant to laugh, but i had a little chuckle at this...in a nice way. it combines all the elements; a story, a romantic undercurrent, a scene and does it all with humour and fluidity, pity you had to be a rat at the end and tell her it was all just a memorable one night stand! but that's what it's all about...well done

phill

Ask not what Chordie can do for you, but what you can do for Chordie.

Re: Pomes penny each !

Selso,

Thanks for the comments. The thing I find most difficult is finding the story. Dividing the story across a number of verses and finding the right words come fairly easy. What I've noticed, however, is that many of the lyrics need to change over a day or two and you just need to let that happen. I suppose I'm always conscious of asking the question "Does this mean what I'm thinking?"

Also, you will only see the better ones here. There are loads that hit the bottom of the basket.

Hi Phil,

A Rat ? Hey, I have a ring on my finger ; )

"What's so funny 'bout peace, love and understandin' ."    Elvis Costello