• Registered: 2008-05-25
  • Posts: 14

Topic: Black Sky

I just wrote this song. i want to get some comments on the lyrics before i write music to it. also if anyone has any suggestions for the music or a change in lyrics. please let me know. i appreciate comments.

Verse 1
I need
To see your beautiful face
I want
To hear your amazing voice
If i could
I'd change all that i have done
I'm sorry
My actions cause you pain

Chorus
We all live under a black sky
wander around sayin "why can't I"
Save us all from this place
Maybe a better life is up in space
All at once it comes back to you
The painful times we've all lived through

Verse 2
If you
would look at me the same
Today
Some changes can be made
never again
will i make a mistake
One last chance
to make everything great

  • dino48
  • Honoured Member
  • Offline
  • From: los banos,california
  • Registered: 2007-04-06
  • Posts: 6,801

Re: Black Sky

Hi telemaster,I like the lyrics,I think you should add some basic chords so we can get alittle insight as too how its supposed to sound on a guitar. I am not a much of a songwriter so thats just my opinion. I am sure some of the other members will chime in here soon,and some of them are very good at writing.Good luck.                                                        dino

my papy said son your going too drive me too drinking if you dont stop driving that   Hot  Rod  Lincoln!! Cmdr cody and his lost planet airman
  • From: A black hole in deep space
  • Registered: 2007-10-28
  • Posts: 7,865

Re: Black Sky

ditto dino

"Growing old is not for sissies"

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  • From: derbyshire
  • Registered: 2007-05-17
  • Posts: 2,844

Re: Black Sky

hi telemaster lyrics are great,could do with a couple more verses
Verse 1
[a]I[d] need
To see your beautiful[a] face
[a]I [d]want
To hear your amazing[a] voice
If i[d] could
I'd change all that i have[a] done
I'm[e] sorry
My actions cause you[a] pain

Chorus
[d]We all live under a[a] black sky
[d]wander around sayin [a]"why can't I"
[d]Save us all from this[a] place
[d]Maybe a better life is up in [a]space
[d]All at once it comes back to[a] you
The [e]painful times we've[a] all lived through

Verse 2
[a]If [d]you
would look at me the [a]same,
[a]To-[d]day
Some changes can be[a] made,
[a]never [d]again
will i make a[a] mistake,
[e]One last chance
to make everything[a] great.

try this ,i havent played it yet but this is how i'd chord it....stay cool

love is life ,life is for love,keep a true heart and live life to the full....stay cool

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