• Registered: 2008-04-14
  • Posts: 147

Topic: Rainbow

Am           G                           
Stumbling through
                   C
the mess I've made
            G                         
hidden beneath
                   Am             G
a makeshift charade
Am               G
And just how much
                    C
can this heart take
              G
Just how much
               Am
Before I break


Chorus:
Am           G
So here I am
                    Am
bloodstained hands
                 G
Nothing to show
                  Am
nowhere to go
                     G
I can see your face
                   Am
but still not clear
                       G
I can't seem to focus
                   Am
through my fears


My tears streaming down
Colour the ground
A strange shade of rainbow
the thought of free
somehow scares me
forgotten familiarity   yeah

CHORUS

Am
You reached for me
                  G
you took me in
                       Am
You opened my eyes
              C
and I realized
Am                       G
the answer to the mystery
        F             
was standing there
     G
in front of me    Yeah

Guitar solo, than
this to the tune of the chorus

I can feel you  love closing in
I can feel your blood wash my sin
I can feel the awesome power flow
I can feel    and I can know

Am
You reached for me
                  G
you took me in
                       Am
You opened my eyes
              C
and I realized
Am                       G
the answer to the mystery
        F             
Had finally come
     G
I was free


Any comments, critique, anything welcome. The one part I don't really like is the " Opened my eyes, and I realized" . it's kind of really cliche, if anybody has any other ideas for that part they are welcome to make them known.

Linusguitar's Website

  • KAP54
  • Honoured Member
  • Offline
  • From: London Ontario Canada
  • Registered: 2008-06-04
  • Posts: 1,746

Re: Rainbow

Hi Linusguitar.Your song has a very nice flow to it and plays well.As for critiquing, all I see is to maybe place your words in more of a sentence form.Use commas where needed as it helps in the visualization and flow of the song.Other than that....Well done Sir.

Keep on Pluckin
KAP54

Just Keepin on Keepin on
Martin DC15E
Cort MR710F
Squire Strat (Chinese)
  • From: derbyshire
  • Registered: 2007-05-17
  • Posts: 2,844

Re: Rainbow

hi linusguitar a few punctuation marks and i think its a great song.....stay cool

love is life ,life is for love,keep a true heart and live life to the full....stay cool

daddycool's Website

  • Registered: 2006-03-04
  • Posts: 2,662

Re: Rainbow

Sometimes 'cliche' works. It's the familiarity of everyday language that helps the reader/listener relate. I think you've done a real nice job with this song. I wouldn't change a thing.

Peace and Guitars,
SouthPaw41L

Give everything but up.
  • Registered: 2007-04-03
  • Posts: 3,489

Re: Rainbow

This to me has a lovely flow to it.  I do love the lyrics.

Maybe " Made my eyes see"   Just a suggestion!

Very well done,

Old Doll.

Why Blend in with the Crowd ? When you were made to stand out !
  • From: Almancil, Algarve, Portugal
  • Registered: 2006-09-02
  • Posts: 6,204

Re: Rainbow

Hi Linus,

I liked your song, well what I could play of it. I have a problem with songs that I do not know and that is I cannot play and sing when the chords are not with the lyrics so I could only part of yours but I did enjoy it. Thank you.

Roger

"Do, or do not; there is no try"

Roger Guppy's Website

  • From: The Land Of Song
  • Registered: 2007-12-10
  • Posts: 5,695

Re: Rainbow

hi linus,

maybe if you substituted
" you opened my eyes
   and i realised..."
for;
"you gave me sight, the quest begins..."

it seems to go with the next line about the mystery part, please use it if it fits with your vision of the song [or if you think it's good enough]

hope i helped

phill

Ask not what Chordie can do for you, but what you can do for Chordie.

Phill Williams's Website