Topic: My first ever song from scratch - Advice and criticism requested
I'm stoned on industrial strength pain killers and after effects of general anesthesia. But I wrote my first song anyway. Or perhaps as a result of appropriate disinhibition. Please pardon the all caps. One handed typing is difficult and that made it faster. It's written for a guy who has been hugely supportive of my musical endeavors and a good friend for close to 20 years. I'm thinking a 1-4-1-5 Country strum with blues timing on the lyrics but will have to wait a couple weeks until my arm's out of a sling to see if I want something different. I turn to this forum for advice and criticism because of my utmost respect for the calibre of songwriting talent displayed here.
BIGGER, BADDER. BALDER, BETTER by D (aka Zurf)
PICKING IN MOTOR CITY
PICKING IN TENNESSEE
PICKING THE MARINES WHO SENT HIM TO WAR
WHERE THEY WOULDN'T LET HIM PICK HIS GUITAR
HE'S THE MOTOR CITY PIG FARMER JARHEAD ROCKER
SMILING THROUGH TROUBLE AND PICKING THROUGH PAIN
NO MATTER WHERE HE GOES, HE'S GOT THE AIM
OF HAVING MORE FUN THAN ONE MAN OUGHT'R
WHATEVER I'VE DONE, HE'S DONE IT MORE
I'VE GOT TWO KIDS, HE'S GOT 1 MORE'N 4
MY HAIR'S FELL OUT, HIS HIT THE FLOOR
I'LL STAND TOE TO TOE, HE MIGHT PULL A FORTY FO'
HE'S BIGGER, BADDER, BALDER, BETTER
SMILING THROUGH TROUBLE AND PICKING THROUGH PAIN
THE MOTOR CITY PIGFARMING JARHEAD ROCKER
HAVING MORE FUN THAN ONE MAN OUGHT'R
NOW HE'S GOT A WIFE PRETTY AS CAN BE
AND LOVES HER MORE EVERY DAY, YOU SEE
HE'S BECOME A BUSINESSMAN WHO'S FAR MORE SETTLED
BUT IT'D BE A MISTAKE TO TEST HIS METTLE
'CAUSE HE'S BIGGER, BADDER, BALDER AND BETTER
MOTOR CITY PIGFARMING JARHEAD ROCKER
TRIPPIN' ON TROUBLE AND PICKING THROUGH THE PAIN
ONCE YOU GET TO KNOW HIM, YOU'LL NOT BE THE SAME
MOTOR CITY PIGFARMING JARHEAD ROCKER
HAVING MORE FUN THAN ONE MAN OUGHT'R
If it comes from the heart and you add a few beers... it'll be awesome! - Mekidsmom
When in doubt ... hats. - B.G. Dude