Topic: "Hats"

This song is about hats.
It is perhaps the longest song in the world about hats . . . and perhaps the silliest, too.

HatsJames McCormick, November 24, 2007


Verses sung, Choruses spoken, Chords & Bongos throughout




(spoken, with bongos and chords)

[G]Hats . . . . [C]Hats . . . . [D]Hats . . . . [G]Hats . . . .


[G]H . . . . [C]A . . . . [D]T . . . . [G]S . . . .


[C]Hats . . . . [G]Hats . . . . [C]Hats . . . . [D]Hats . . . .


[G]H . . . . [C]A . . . . [D]T . . . . [G]S . . . .


(sung)


[G]Rappers wear their hats askew all [C]turned a-which-a-way


[D]Country guys got Stetsons to [C]help them sing and [G]play


[G]Crooners had fedoras to [C]help them doo-bee-doo


[D]Sherlock Holmes had a favorite hat for [C]deducing [G]clues




[C]Jackie had a pillbox so [G]trendy and so pert


An-[C]nette had perky mouse ears to [D]help her flounce and flirt . .[D7]


[G]Guineviere wore a silken scarf to [C]keep her modesty


[D]Beauty queens win tiaras for [C]all the world to [G]see . .[D]


. . . .


Joe [G]Namath had a helmet to [C]help him throw touchdowns


Winston [D]Churchill put a bowler a-[C]top his jowly [G]frown


O-[G]sama's got a turban to [C]hatch his evil schemes


[D]Dali wore a black beret to [C]paint surreal [G]scenes




Com-[C]mandos got those ski masks and [G]lots of guns to shoot


The [C]Pope he's got a mitre and [D]fancy Gucci boots . .[D7]


Abe [G]Lincoln had a stovepipe with a [C]snappy little brim


The [D]Viet Cong wore paddy hats just [C]like old Ho Chi [G]Mihn . .[D]


. . . .


Well, [G]Merlin had a wizard cap and [C]lots of Druid power


[D]Hendrix had a headband to [C]help him play gui-[G]tar


[G]Dan'l Boone he had a hat made [C]from an old raccoon


[D]Jesus wore a crown of thorns while [C]trudging to his [G]doom




O-[C]lympians wore laurel leaves and a [G]little olive oil


[C]Farmers sport their seed caps while [D]plowin' up the soil . .[D7]


A [G]hard hat at a building site will [C]keep your noggin whole


[D]Miners use a head lamp while [C]diggin' out the [G]coal


(spoken, with bongos)

[C]Hats in movies, hats in books, [G]hats in history


[C]Hats on regular people, hats [D]on celebrities


[G]Hats for safety, hats for style, hats [C]as accessories


[D]Hats in art and acting parts, so [C]many hats to [G]see . .[D]




[G]Scotsmen look so funky cool in a [C]sporran and a tam


Za-[D]pata wore sombreros while [C]fighting for his [G]land


[G]Gomer Pyle and Castro wear [C]army fatigue caps


Mark [D]Spitz put on a rubber cap to [C]swim his record [G]laps


Ge-[C]ronimo's eagle feathers [G]marked a mighty chief


[C]Rabbis they wear yamakas as [D]part of their beliefs . .[D7]


[G]Pharoah was a major dude with a [C]serpent on his crown


The [D]guy who drives for UPS has a [C]cap that is all [G]brown . .[D]


. . . .


The [G]ladies of the COGIC church have [C]hats of every hue


Peace-[D]keepers for the UN have [C]helmets that are [G]blue


[G]Rangers in the National Parks got [C]hats like Smokey Bear


You can [D]get a hat made of balloons out [C]at the county [G]fair




[C]Lance had bicycle helmets, so [G]hard and fast he rode


[C]Gilligan had a canvas cap and a [D]bamboo abode . .[D7]


[G]Yassar wore a keffiyah u-[C]pon his grizzled brow


O'-[D]Leary had a bonnet for [C]when she milked her [G]cow . .[D]


. . . .


[G]Joltin' Joe had a Yankees cap, he [C]married Miss Monroe


[D]Mookie Wilson wore a Cub's hat in [C]windy Chica-[G]go


[G]Mao Tse Tung had a Mao hat to [C]match his green Mao suit


[D]Carmen Miranda could sing and dance un-[C]der a bunch of [G]fruit




[C]Cryano de Bergerac he [G]wore a foppish plume


Chuck [C]Yeager had a helmet when he [D]made the sonic boom . .[D7]


Red [G]Skelton would change characters [C]just by changing hats


Sir [D]Isaac Newton must have had a [C]well-worn thinking [G]cap


(spoken, with bongos)

[C]Hats in stories, hats in song, [G]hats in comic books


[C]Hats for hot, hats for cold, [D]hats just for looks


[G]Hats for war, hats for wow, [C]hats for everyone


[D]Hats for work, hats for sport, [C]hats just for [G]fun . .[D]




[G]Graduates don mortar boards when [C]they matriculate


[D]Wilber Wright wore a goggle hat when [C]he did avi-[G]ate


She-[G]herazade had many veils and [C]lots of tales to tell


[D]Paul Revere had a tricorn when his [C]warning he did [G]yell


The [C]Inuit got furry hoods so their [G]earlobes will not freeze


[C]Honey farmers wear helmet nets [D]when they tend to bees . .[D7]



[G]Snipers use a Gilly suit to [C]blend into the weeds


There's [D]helmets on the jockeys but [C]not upon their [G]steeds . .[D]


. . . .


Five [G]hundred hats on Bartholemew Cubbins [C]got him into a fix


[D]Groucho, Harpo, and Chico too had [C]hats to do their [G]schtick


[G]European aristocrats they [C]used to wear perukes


Darth [D]Vader's hat it was all black when [C]he was fighting [G]Luke




[C]Casey Jones drivin' that train wore a [G]hat for engineers


Ty-[C]rolean hats are just the thing for [D]drinking German beers . .[D7]


A [G]burqa it's just like a hat that [C]goes from head to toe


And a [D]Panama in the Suez might [C]not be apro-[G]pos . .[D]


. . . .


Tra-[G]ditional brides raise a veil to [C]start their wedded bliss


[D]Riot squads with helmets will [C]beat those who re-[G]sist


[G]Lovely Rita meter maid had a [C]cap and uniform


Brun-[D]hilda in the opera has a [C]hat with big old [G]horns




[C]Batman's helmet is a mask with [G]pointy little ears


Bear [C]Bryant wore a hat of tweed and [D]coached for many years . .[D7]


[G]Zorro had a big black brim his [C]sword was very quick


[D]Geishas wear kanzashi those [C]fancy old hair [G]sticks


(spoken, with bongos)

[C]Hats on women, hats on men, [G]hats on children too


[C]Hats of metal, hats of cloth, [D]hats for me and you . .[D7]


[G]Hats with brims, hats with bills, [C]hats with chin straps


[D]Hats with feathers, hats with holes, [C]hats with ear [G]flaps . .[D]




Ralph [G]Cramden wore a driver's cap to [C]drive a city bus


[D]Showgirls out in Vegas have [C]showy hats and [G]busts


Sir [G]Elton John would sing and play with flam-[C]boyant headdress


[D]Freddy Kruger had a ratty hat and he [C]always made a [G]mess


[C]Admiral Nelson had a fancy hat but he [G]lost one of his hands


George [C]Custer lost both hat and scalp [D]at his last stand . .[D7]


[G]Astronauts and cosmonauts have [C]very special rigs


Dumb [D]Donald's stocking cap was pink and [C]it was way too [G]big . .[D]


. . . .


[G]Generals wear headgear with [C]shiny bits of brass


[D]Hula girls have flower hats and [C]skirts made out of [G]grass


[G]Ataturk had a black mustache to [C]complement his fez


Con-[D]quistadors had metal hats like Her-[C]nando Cor-[G]tez




There's [C]halos on the seraphim, [G]cherubim and saints


[C]Hannibal Lector had a muzzle hat and [D]bodily restraints . .[D7]


The [G]Cat in the Hat is lots of fun when it's [C]too cold to go out


[D]Anglers wear hats with hooks when [C]casting about for [G]trout . .[D]


. . . .


John [G]Wayne he always had a hat to [C]do what a man must do


Nurse [D]Ratchett had an RN cap out [C]where the cuckoo [G]flew


Ma-[G]gicians they have top hats and [C]rabbits they do pull


To-[D]reros wear monteras [C]when they fight the [G]bulls




[C]Liza had a trilby in a [G]Berlin cabaret


[C]Mary Poppins tied on her hat be-[D]fore she flew away . .[D7]


[G]Ninjas they have hoods of black and [C]nasty poison darts


[D]Surgeons wear sterile caps as they [C]slice into your [G]parts


(spoken, with bongos)

[C]Hats in legend, hats in verse, hats [G]in mythology


[C]Hats of silver, hats of gold, [D]hats of royalty . .[D7]


[G]Hats on statues, hats on pets, [C]hats in cartoons


[D]Hats for day, hats for night, [C]hats for after-[G]noon . .[D]




[G]Perseus was invisible when he [C]put his helmet on


The [D]Easter Island Moai have [C]hats that weigh a [G]ton


[G]Santa Claus has a fuzzy hat that [C]is all white and red


Lady [D]Liberty has a spiky crown up-[C]on her copper [G]head


[C]Joan of Arc had a helmet but she [G]burned for heresy


[C]Lepers wore a big old shroud to [D]cover their disease . .[D7]


[G]Priests of Quetzaquatl had [C]special hats of course


Roy [D]Rogers wore a big white hat and [C]rode a big white [G]horse . .[D]


. . . .


French [G]Legionnaires wear kepis as they [C]march very slow


A [D]Roman wore a petasus but [C]slaves could not you [G]know


[G]Barristers wear horsehair wigs as they [C]argue at the law


[D]Dorothy's friend the scarecrow had a [C]hat full of [G]straw




(spoken, with bongos only)

Hats . . . . Hats . . . . Hats . . . . Hats . . . .


H . . . . A . . . . T . . . . S . . . .


Hats . . . . Hats . . . . Hats . . . . Hats . . . .


H . . . . A . . . . T . . . . S . . . .



"That darn Pythagorean Comma thing keeps messing me up!"
[url]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pythagorean_comma[/url]

Re: "Hats"

James. What can I say but a lame "I take my hat off to you sir" ( If I wore one that is) that song has just about covered all millenary angles that I can think of and a few besides.
Well done
Regards
Ark

Re: "Hats"

lol

Before I saw arkady's reply I thought the same " hat off to you" but he beat me to it lol

but very well done James, a song that covers the entire world,relgious things fictional and non fictional and fantasy.
you have left nothing out in this song I dont think, no wonder it will be a 15 minute wonder ,lol.
excellent work mate

ken

ye get some that are cut out for the job and others just get by from pretending

Re: "Hats"

Hi James.

Welcome back! Mug of tea and  lovely flakey sausage Roll for my break.

Great song, great read, better then blush to my cheeks.

This one Kept me smiling all the way.  This song is really "Ceol agus Craic"

{ Music Song and Fun }.. Ah Yes! Guinness book of records! Next 2008.


The [C]Pope he's got a mitre and [D]fancy Gucci boots . .[D7

They also say here the Pope is to fond of wine. Thats why they carry him everywhere. lol

Old Doll.

Back to work, shucks!

Why Blend in with the Crowd ? When you were made to stand out !

Re: "Hats"

Thanks arkady, upyerkilt, and Old Doll!  Glad you found it entertaining.

This one just kept growing as more and more hats came to mind.  As I look at it I wonder if maybe I got a little too obsessed with the idea . . . but it certainly is a whimsical (and encyclopedic) bit of song writing.  I have had great fun noticing and pondering hats for several days . .  .

Interestingly, the Google-generated chordie advertising on my screen (upper right) right now is for TheFedoraStore.com

"That darn Pythagorean Comma thing keeps messing me up!"
[url]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pythagorean_comma[/url]

Re: "Hats"

hi james i thought you'd gone into hibernation but it looks like you've been studying hard ,well its a topper of a song well done...stay cool

love is life ,life is for love,keep a true heart and live life to the full....stay cool

Re: "Hats"

Thanks daddycool!  Glad you enjoyed this goofy ditty . . . it was fun to write and I do hope to record it in the near future.  Need to recruit a friend to play bongos with me - should be fun.

I'm thinking maybe I'll do one about 'Shoes' next?  (actually, not for a while maybe)

I've not been in hibernation - just been busy earning a living.

Am way behind on enjoying all the new songs that have been posted here recently - hope to catch up soon.

In the meantime, I shall be introducing myself as 'The man who has written the world's longest song about hats.'

"That darn Pythagorean Comma thing keeps messing me up!"
[url]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pythagorean_comma[/url]

Re: "Hats"

Good gracious, that's a long song for such a short title. 

- Zurf

Granted B chord amnesty by King of the Mutants (Long live the king).
If it comes from the heart and you add a few beers... it'll be awesome! - Mekidsmom
When in doubt ... hats. - B.G. Dude