• From: Texas
  • Registered: 2007-07-31
  • Posts: 950

Topic: Some help would be appreciated....

Okay this should be the last one I have to empty out of the old notebook before I can start a new one, but I have a problem.
I have a  list of verses that I personally think have a lot of potential, and one bridge type thing, but none of it seems to fit together into a song that would make any sense. The tune and rythym is similar to the devil in the sleeping bag or shotgun willie.... I wish there was a magic phrase that I could use as a chorus that would tie it all together. I don't want to throw these verses away (or at least not all of them) but i can't seem to use them,  so maybe one of the other songwriters could take a look and see if they can find a song that fits together among the verses in this list??? Help would be greatly appreciated.


VERSES I"VE COME UP WITH-
G
I got to town ridin' a greyhound
         C
And I wasn't stayin' long
        G                                      D
That is untill I found I couldn't leave
G
Because of circumstances
                 C
That were out of my control
         G                           D                    G
Or at least thats what I let people believe


Now I don't understand friend
How can I apologize
For things that I aint never said
I couldn't stand to hear you cryin'
So I covered up my ears
But your voice was loud enough to wake the dead

There's a guitar and a Bible
And a wore out dollar bill
Its all I have and all I really need
Cuz im barefoot and Im grinnin'
And I'm strummin' right along
And wishin' that I knew how to pick lead

He was sittin' on the corner
With a guitar in his hand
And I stopped to drop a quarter in his hat
he said hello my name is Johnny
And once upon a time
Ida laughed at a tip as small as that

There aint no way of knowin'
Where all the money goes
Or better yet when the world is gonna end
I think I'll leave it up to Jesus
to make the final call
And just play my country music untill then

I was sittin' on the front porch
hank was on the radio
hullin' peas with cousin Paul
When I heard a voice from heaven
and it gave me a good song
the words to which I cant seem to recall

THE OTHER THINGAMAJIGGER
             C                                          G
And we spend our whole lives goin' nowhere
                                                            D
When somewhere's where we wanta be
               G
Me I aint lookin' for nuthin
                                     D              G
But i guess nuthin was lookin' for me

Okay I know its kind of ridiculous, but I kind of liked it lol Anybody see anything in there at all???? Or should I just hold on to them and use them seperately in something else??

All You Need is Love smile

HannahBeth's Website

  • upyerkilt
  • upyerkilt
  • Unofficial king of Scotland
  • Offline
  • From: Balloch, Scotland, UK, Earth
  • Registered: 2006-03-04
  • Posts: 3,290

Re: Some help would be appreciated....

i dont know the songs you mentioned that this goes like but I was playing it and got a wee rythum. ( by the way, great lyrics, i like them a lot and the tune i am doing goes very nicely)

The way I was playing it I found the thingamajiggery part didnt seem to fit because of that D chord at the end of the second line. It might just be the way I am playing though? I found G and C fitted in better.
It is hard to tell since I do not know the actual way it is meant to sound.

this songwriting thing could be good on youtube for help, if you dont mind sounding bad. By that I mean playing a song you have wrote and stopping and talking thru parts of the song you need help with.
I personally would hate to do this as I tihnk I sound stupid when i hear myself talking,lol as does everyone, but might be a good way to get great help?

Ken

ye get some that are cut out for the job and others just get by from pretending
  • Registered: 2007-04-03
  • Posts: 3,489

Re: Some help would be appreciated....

WELL i Love this Petal,

But i think you have the makings of 2 songs here?

Id work a song around "Sittin on the front Porch". Hullin Peas?

I used to hull peas with my Pops, {Grand Dad} He lived untill he was 97 years.
Always slept with a soft hat on.. Brought a pint of water to bed every night,
ate oats every morning with honey, and smoked a fancy pipe all his life.
I loved the smell of him. His plug tobacco used to swirl up through his Big white moustache, ah he was lovely, but he used give out cos i ate to many peas as i hulled. Sure i never took a blind bit of notice. Thats when id wink at him, he would just smile.

Thanks for that memory last rebel. "Put my Pops in that song when you write
it please."

Old Doll

Why Blend in with the Crowd ? When you were made to stand out !
  • From: Texas
  • Registered: 2007-07-31
  • Posts: 950

Re: Some help would be appreciated....

Zurf, I kind of posted the chords from memory so it might not be exactly right....
Old Doll, I think you might be right, and of course if I end up building a song around that line I'll be sure to mention 'Pops'  smile

All You Need is Love smile

HannahBeth's Website

  • From: Almancil, Algarve, Portugal
  • Registered: 2006-09-02
  • Posts: 6,205

Re: Some help would be appreciated....

Hi Rebel,

I am with Old Doll on this (it is not safe to argue with a lady anyhow lol) that the 'hulling peas' verse does not seem to fit in with the other verses and could easily be the basis for another.

The verse plays great but I also played the thingy different by adding two C chords  as below, but as Ken said this is our interpretation of your song and it is how you want it to be that is important.

THE OTHER THINGAMAJIGGER
             C                                          G
And we spend our whole lives goin' nowhere
         C                                                D
When somewhere's where we wanta be
               G
Me I aint lookin' for nuthin
        C                           D              G
But i guess nuthin was lookin' for me

Thank you,


Roger

"Do, or do not; there is no try"

Roger Guppy's Website

  • From: Orpington London
  • Registered: 2006-10-22
  • Posts: 390

Re: Some help would be appreciated....

you really do have the Skynard vibe

"sittin' on the front porch
heard a voice from heaven
gave me a good song
the words I can't recall

spend our whole lives goin' nowhere
When somewhere's where we wanta be
Me I aint lookin' for nuthin
i guess nuthin was lookin' for me"

seems pretty neat

pre chorus and chorus

johncross21's Website

  • From: Texas
  • Registered: 2007-07-31
  • Posts: 950

Re: Some help would be appreciated....

roger,
like i said earlier, i didnt have the chords written down so i had to post them from memory, so they weren't perfect. The verses are, but the chorus thing wasn't right i dont think. The way you play it works just fine with the rest of the song because i intentionally made it sound a little different from the other parts.

I think I actually had it like this:
               C                                         G
Well we   spend our whole live goin' nowhere
                                                            D
When somewhere's where we wanna be
G                        C
I aint lookin' for nuthin

         G        D                                 G
But I guess nuthin was lookin' for me.....

anwyay theres different ways you could do it i guess. Thanks to all of yall for the suggestions so far, I really am leaning towards using the peas verse for another song

All You Need is Love smile

HannahBeth's Website

  • badeye
  • The Blues Fixer
  • Offline
  • From: Cape Breton Island, Canada
  • Registered: 2006-09-02
  • Posts: 3,381

Re: Some help would be appreciated....

johncross21 wrote:

you really do have the Skynard vibe

"sittin' on the front porch
heard a voice from heaven
gave me a good song
the words I can't recall

spend our whole lives goin' nowhere
When somewhere's where we wanta be
Me I aint lookin' for nuthin
i guess nuthin was lookin' for me"

seems pretty neat

pre chorus and chorus

one caper after another
  • From: Starkville, Mississippi USA
  • Registered: 2006-03-04
  • Posts: 2,069

Re: Some help would be appreciated....

Hi last_rebel - Seems like two songs to me also because both ideas are strong enough to stand on their own.

The lines about 'There ain't no way of knowin, Where all the money goes . . .' can be your chorus.  It has a memorable 'feel' to it and you can play off it with other parts of the song.

The other part that caught my imagination was the porch bit.  When I think of porches, here is what comes to mind: the distinctive 'creak and slam' of a wooden screen door, the buzzing sound of cicadas, the smell of dust from a gravel road, unhurried conversation, scratching bug bites, and a refreshing beverage.  James

"That darn Pythagorean Comma thing keeps messing me up!"
[url]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pythagorean_comma[/url]

James McCormick's Website