Being 13 sucks! (Page 2 of 2)

Old doll I dont think I am an acident but, I cinda am my mom did not mean to have me. She was young and stupped (as she says)I do have one friend that is going through the same thing. we both have the same problems.Like her boy friend is tring to kill him self.I had gone through this already with my old boy friend.I told her to call his parents and tell them and she did.and he is in a hospital right now.but today she found out that he was tring to hang him self.
She cryed and so did I. I still keep in tuch with my old friends and I visit them so times and my friend meggan and her family pray for me all the time (I just found out) I try to be around the good friends more.
                                    I miss being 11,mostly because I was at my old school where we were very sheltered.I felt safer their.but I still have my guitar and my piano,and the songs I wright to express my self.

Hey rockerchick,

Being 13 sucks, until your 19 like me, then you just beg to be 13 again because being 19 can suck too.

Parents are hard work, I lost most of my memory in an accident when I was 8 and so I don't remember mine being around when I was younger. then from there till now they've always been busy, working, seeing their friends, getting divorced and blaming it on each other, its pretty hard shit for them to deal with and even harder for my two younger siblings to understand and cope with.

The thing to remember about parents is that they're just kids that grew up, or are still trying to grow up. They look at you and remember what they or their friends were doing at your age and they flip out trying to make sure that you don't end up like them or people they knew.

You need to remember that when you were born they were changing your diapers, then as you get older they start to lose control over you, and eventually when you're fully grown its them that will need looking after. and when it comes to that point their going to be sitting around hoping like hell that they did a good enough job and that you'll do them prouder then they did their parents, but hoping even more that you don't repeat their mistakes and that your happy with your life.

I guess all of that^ is a long time coming and kind of hard to relate to your everyday life with them. but just remember that the reason they go mad is because they care. its a case of being able to show them that you can deal with stuff without them, but that you'd prefer to meet them half way. I won't lie to you, these next few years will not be easy, not with your parents nor with your friends at times, but these years are crucial in shaping you into the adult you want to be and your parents are crucial to helping you in that.

I think the best way to deal with things is really on the first page of this post, James McCormick put it perfectly, earn their respect by respecting yourself and managing your life properly. it sounds a lot easier than it is, and alot of us never perfect it, but starting young is the best way. the best thing about it is that not only will this help you with your parents but it will help you with your music career too.

When I was fifteen I dropped out of school and started an entertainment company with two of my best friends. we basically wanted to help people who sucked at academic study but excelled at the performing arts and get their careers off the ground. we were young and foolish in that we thought we knew everything, but we did do alot of good. the company remains to this day though I quit last year due to a fall out with one of my colleagues. yet I'm still thankful that I did it, cos even though I don't have an education academically I have learnt ALOT about business, about people, about music, art, theatre, drama, dance, beatboxing, MCing, and have made more friends than I can count from drug dealers to television directors all the way up to senior politicians. What I learnt the hardest though, and I learnt it hard every time,  was that if you truly want to be able to live life your way, you need to take responsibility from the start, you need to be brave and just do it your way, take responsibility for your fuck-ups and don't let anyone stop you, and eventually you'll find out the only person who CAN stop you is yourself. so take James advice and learn to conquer yourself.
Succeed and you'll have learnt skills that will benefit you for the rest of your life, plus I guarantee you that your parents will stress at you less.

Fail, or ignore what I'm saying, and you may not fail at life, but you'll be like every other teenager your age, sitting around at home after arguing with their parents because they feel they cant be trusted and asking each other "why me?" or "whys my life so difficult?" instead of doing anything about it.

Like I said, it won't be easy, but try and keep positive and do it. if you do then every positive thing that happens to you will be a blessing, and every negative thing will have a positive lesson within it to learn, and that in itself is also a blessing.

If you try it, if you truly give it everything you have, if you re-read what james wrote and what i've written here, and you try and try and try, and life STILL doesn't improve, let me know within 3 months, and I'll sell my organs on ebay give you the money, and then you'll be too rich to worry about anything.

good luck darlin xx

Rockerchick:

Here's the bottom line, when you look in the mirror who do you see? Not any of us replying to your post. Tell me who do you see? Your all that matters, someone's views or perceptions of who or what you should be don't matter. You matter and what makes you happy matters. I cannot crawl into your skin and be you, I don't know what is in your head or in your heart (I know who is in your heart though). Life is a learning experience some of us take longer to learn and take the hard way. Some come out unscathed others still have the scars, one thing we share in common is experience gained, good, bad or indifferent.

Scripture say's that we are in this world not of it (paraphrased) so being different is ok. It also say's that we are a particular people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation. So who should you worry about making happy? Does not a righteous man fall 70 times 70. Continue to worship and praise through your playing, be diligent and you will be rewarded. For your time will come and your prayers do not fall on deaf ears. Take it from me I am a very, very blessed man. Though I do not deserve it, nor am I worthy of it but never the less I am blessed as you will be.

Time to get of the pulpit.

Rev.Bootlegger.
(yes it's real, I told you that He was not finished with me).

Hi All,
while i agree with all thats being said, there is one other point i would like to draw your attention to.
.
ESTROGEN! In woman young or Old-er  can be a bewildering time for us.
The Estrogen Cycle is to some woman an absolute nightmare every month.
I ask any Man here to understand how there loving partner can turn into a walking demon for a week sometimes 2 out of every month.  The Chemical
imbalance causes all kinds of problems for woman young or old. Even
very intelligent woman who understand how hormones work, will look in the mirror at this time and havent a clue who they are... All they know at this time is they feel ugly, insecure, unloved, bloated. They will cry it seems for no rational reason known to Man. Which is also bewildering to Men..
The wonderous thing about Estrogen is it allows for the process of becoming  Pregnant and the beautiful experiience of birthing our babies.. But all of this goes out the window when this imbalance occurs..

In classes ive done over the years Men have stated," if woman know this "why dont they get a grip" They can't. the imbalance in chemical changes in the body doesn't allow for This.. As soon as the balance restores its self! Woman know they have been different, and so the cycle goes..... At times in my own life i could have happily made a foot ball from my womb and ovaries! and Kicked it from one end of this island to the other.

Men on the other hand are lucky with there  Testosterone.. They feel powerful.
They also have the quick release factor, when the feeling becomes to much
for them, [Lucky Sods}.
So when Daddies Girl turns into "linda Blair" from the exorcist, Or Mum turns into  "Annie Wilkes" from Misery, Spare a thought for the demon Estrogen?
and in particular for  young girls who this is all new to..

Irma Thomas, explains why Woman Cry sometimes for no apparent reason in  this beautiful  song "Hold Me while i Cry" "You tube."
I know im always longwinded with these posts. I cannot blame estrogen for
this...Ive looked in the mirror this morning { not a pretty sight in jammies, maybe its stats i should be doing} But thankfully I and the good lord knows who i am..
Have a Happy Day Chordians. I intend to..

Barróga agus Póga to you all.

Old Doll.

A life lesson I'd like to share; In my early teens I was having a difficult time dealing with issues that life was handing me. Things like; my parents splitting up, losing my friends as we changed schools, sexual relationships, drug and alcohol experimentation, the facade of religion, and local law enforcement encounters. Pretty much the usual stuff a teen ager goes through.

Something happened that changed my life right then and there. I did some volunteer work with multi-handicapped children. To see the struggles these 'heros' went through day to day, hour by hour, made my issues seem so small. The exposure to these wonderful little human beings and their tenacity and positive outlook on life changed my life immediately. I'm not saying one should minimize one's own issues that cause pain but just think for a moment how bad things actually are and how much worse things could be.

well, all I have to say right now is old doll that was interesting!

1. Young and stupid are synonymous (Unless of couse you are young and/or stupid)
2 13 is to young to have a boy/girl friend (Unless of course you are 13)
3 Boys are stupid and are easy to replace (With hind sight yes at the time no)
4 Life begins at 30 (Well maybe I think it's more like 50)

It's strange when you have Grandchildren you view children growing up with perhaps a more sympathetic eye.

Regards

Arkady

jerome, you are telling the truth. I have a daughter, and once they go on 13, you loose control, not about the education she got, but they start (13-17 years) to search their path in their lifes.
Sometimes, better most of them are adults in a kid body, but a lot more are kids in an adult body.
But 30 = horrible, bye bye the fabulous 20-30 years.

all kids are unique and should be treated as such. what works for one kid doesnt work for another, every day is unique and you learn something new so you adpapt as it comes. to take a way a childs uniqueness robbs them of the chance to become something we all need, which is indentity.

if he's trying to kill himself, then he's not serious. If he were serious he would be dead by now...
Nobody is worth that kind of drama, if he wants to die I'd tell him to head out. What he wants is for everybody to have a big emotional breakdown, so I just wouldn;t ablige him.... and i'm not just talking cuz i've had to deal with people like this before.
Jerome,
I think children do have different personalities, but because the majority of behavior is learned, most people just pick up on what everybody else at school is doing. Deep down I think they have different tastes, they're just too ashamed to admit it because they've learned what is and isn't "cool". I don't like to think of myself as a herd animal,  but even I'll admit I'm no grown up yet.... even if for circumstances beyond my control i had to grow up a little faster than most kids these days.
Being 'unique' these days also seems to be a form of following the crowd. You either do everything everybody else is doing to look cool, or you automatically NEVER do what anybody else is doing because you think it makes you cool....people should just do what they want, and if somebody else does it thats cool, but if they dont thats ok too. SOme things everybody does because its a fad, but some things are done by everybody because it just makes sense....like chocolate ice cream.

All You Need is Love

I have no doubt that you will grow up to be a wholly unique adult.  Children are herd animals for a lot of reasons.  Biologically speaking, it's safer for kids to hang together than not.   Emotionally speaking, children push boundaries (and should push boundaries) as they grow to independence.  This is the source of %99 of the "My parent's don't understand me!" laments, and why they cling to their friends who "get them" so desperately.

They're looking for validation that their emotional outbursts against the boundaries their parents set are legitimate.   As a parent, the worst thing you can do is confirm that.  I have taught my oldest since she was 12 that all the emotial drama she can come up with is pretty normal for teenager, and that teenagers are pretty well understood animals.  That made her mad, but over time, she came to see it's true.  She's 18 now, and has grown into a mostly responsible young lady.

i still disagree, i think all kids are different, some walk at 15 months some walk at 18 months, some talk early some talk late. some pee the bed till there 10, some stop as soon as their out of diapers.  we become" herd animals". that is something the school teaches them,atleast here in america. when they come out of the womb its mom and dad and thats who there a attached, everyone else is just a stranger. my little girl runs away from other little kids as does my son. though it it is good for them to "hang "with other kids most of them are introverts, so hanging out with other kids or peole is painful.
i think it totally dedends on the kid.