• From: India
  • Registered: 2024-09-01
  • Posts: 37

Topic: A year in the Gangetic Plains

This is a short collection of haikus I wrote around 10 years ago..... They were lying in my Facebook backup, from back when Notes was a feature on there...........I wish I could've written more though, I love the concept of Haikus
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"MAY"

Gigantic crickets
Hither and thither
Spring, I believe?


"SEASON ISSUES"

This fever, makes me shiver,
What the hell, man!
Is it really summer?


"STILL SUMMER"

Ah, this breeze
Soothes that pain
The still glaring sun brings about


"IDLENESS"

It's chilling outside,
I'm sitting in my room,
Nothing to do 

"I hide behind a mirror of knowledge, I'm never that what you see
It is my wisdom that emanates, and is perceived by you as me"

#penned #not_stolen
  • From: Perth
  • Registered: 2017-09-27
  • Posts: 1,453

Re: A year in the Gangetic Plains

I had to look up where that was ... it looks like a place I'd like to visit!

Cheers

Richard     

-[ Musician, writer, guitarist, singer ]-
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  • From: The Land Of Song
  • Registered: 2007-12-10
  • Posts: 5,704

Re: A year in the Gangetic Plains

It reads like diary entries.maybe you could expand on what you've written, don't force a poetic lilt just write down what you see around you as you have done, what you feel at the time. You have the talent,  let it flow. I'm only offering advice as you've mentioned you are struggling to write new stuff. Good luck.     

Ask not what Chordie can do for you, but what you can do for Chordie.

Phill Williams's Website

  • From: India
  • Registered: 2024-09-01
  • Posts: 37

Re: A year in the Gangetic Plains

Phill Williams wrote:

It reads like diary entries.maybe you could expand on what you've written, don't force a poetic lilt just write down what you see around you as you have done, what you feel at the time. You have the talent,  let it flow. I'm only offering advice as you've mentioned you are struggling to write new stuff. Good luck.

I think what you're referring to is a limit specific to Haikus......I'll try to make it simpler next time, in terms of the word choices

But a thought is always there that Haikus have restrictive conditions( 17 syllables max, and only 3 lines), so there are shackles.     

"I hide behind a mirror of knowledge, I'm never that what you see
It is my wisdom that emanates, and is perceived by you as me"

#penned #not_stolen

5 Reply by Peatle Jville (edited by Peatle Jville 2024-09-10 09:25:17)

  • Registered: 2015-07-31
  • Posts: 2,792

Re: A year in the Gangetic Plains

Shivan, Haiku can be good to keep the mind active. Very interesting and well done what you have done with Haiku In years past using your fertile mind.

Five seven five yes
Haiku is challenging us
Done well it works

  • From: The Land Of Song
  • Registered: 2007-12-10
  • Posts: 5,704

Re: A year in the Gangetic Plains

Ryuusei wrote:
Phill Williams wrote:

It reads like diary entries.maybe you could expand on what you've written, don't force a poetic lilt just write down what you see around you as you have done, what you feel at the time. You have the talent,  let it flow. I'm only offering advice as you've mentioned you are struggling to write new stuff. Good luck.

I think what you're referring to is a limit specific to Haikus......I'll try to make it simpler next time, in terms of the word choices

But a thought is always there that Haikus have restrictive conditions( 17 syllables max, and only 3 lines), so there are shackles.

No I think you've misunderstood what I meant. I remember in a previous post you mentioned that you couldn't imagine new poetry, I have no idea what a Haikus is as I'm no literary genius like Pete. I thought you wanted some advice on continuing this piece and/or writing new stuff. Excuse my ignorance     

Ask not what Chordie can do for you, but what you can do for Chordie.

Phill Williams's Website

  • From: India
  • Registered: 2024-09-01
  • Posts: 37

Re: A year in the Gangetic Plains

Phill Williams wrote:
Ryuusei wrote:
Phill Williams wrote:

It reads like diary entries.maybe you could expand on what you've written, don't force a poetic lilt just write down what you see around you as you have done, what you feel at the time. You have the talent,  let it flow. I'm only offering advice as you've mentioned you are struggling to write new stuff. Good luck.

I think what you're referring to is a limit specific to Haikus......I'll try to make it simpler next time, in terms of the word choices

But a thought is always there that Haikus have restrictive conditions( 17 syllables max, and only 3 lines), so there are shackles.

No I think you've misunderstood what I meant. I remember in a previous post you mentioned that you couldn't imagine new poetry, I have no idea what a Haikus is as I'm no literary genius like Pete. I thought you wanted some advice on continuing this piece and/or writing new stuff. Excuse my ignorance

You are right, Phill! It does look like I was not clear in my statement lol..............what I meant is I altogether stopped writing Haiku..........and advices are absolutely welcome at my end.........Also I think you should try Haiku sometimes, it's a straightforward concept, and although the rules are meant for it in Japanese writing, the same rules are implemented in English, or any other language if one wants to write......     

"I hide behind a mirror of knowledge, I'm never that what you see
It is my wisdom that emanates, and is perceived by you as me"

#penned #not_stolen
  • From: United State
  • Registered: 2024-10-01
  • Posts: 1

Re: A year in the Gangetic Plains

What a nostalgic and thoughtful collection!     

Official 9anime website to Watch Anime online with Sub and Dub for FREE

official-9anime's Website

  • From: India
  • Registered: 2024-09-01
  • Posts: 37

Re: A year in the Gangetic Plains

official-9anime wrote:

What a nostalgic and thoughtful collection!

Thanks!!     

"I hide behind a mirror of knowledge, I'm never that what you see
It is my wisdom that emanates, and is perceived by you as me"

#penned #not_stolen