Was I wrong?

I was invited to play with my church's band again. Practices are on Thursday night. We get the music usually on Tuesday afternoon.

I had to ask to be added to the distribution. Then when I got added to the distribution for the week, there were no chord charts for two of the five songs - but only for me. There were only MP3's. So I checked with the band leader, and he said that there were chord charts and sent me a screen shot proving it. So I sent a screen shot of mine proving they weren't available to me. By 10:00PM Tuesday, I had the chord charts, but by that time it far too late to be able to prep and practice five songs by Thursday right after work. I didn't want to play if I can't be prepared and I don't think it's reasonable to expect me to. Nor do I think any bandmates would appreciate an ill prepared bassist, so I backed out of the gig.

It's worth mentioning that I played for years with this group, and literally EVERY time I took the stage with them, I have had to chase down the chord charts that everyone else gets without effort. I don't accuse them of doing it on purpose. I think there's a software glitch in my profile somewhere, but when it's the SAME THING EVERY TIME and no one learns to check the settings, it eventually gets to feeling personal. I literally schedule time to chase down the chord charts when I agree to play, but not getting them until bedtime, leaving me one evening to prep five songs and be ready for practice seemed like too much for me to handle.

One more thing - as I age my anxiety has increased exponentially. It was off the charts last night. It took a handful of pills (all legal) and splitting a rack of wood to calm down even a little bit. It spun me up but good. I don't think I should have to suffer anxiety attacks to volunteer. But I have never, ever backed out of a gig and feel some guilt about it.