THINGS THAT ARE INPOSIBLE TO DO (Page 2 of 3)

My nephew did that when i took him to to McDonalds once. i was standing out side his stall and holy Crap! That 4 year old never ceases to amaze me.

Doc wrote

Did you ever hold a flame close to your a**? You should try it, and certainly after a big meal, with beans, eggs, brussels sprouts, yep, these green things are from Belgium.
You can even fart in a bottle (the more he smells the better) and close the bottle immediately. One year later, you ask someone to open the bottle, and look at his/her face: it still smells like hell (but you really need to close it very well).
About farting: I am sure if this is your speciality, you can place a microphone and instead of being a guitar player, you are a (F)artist (nice word by the way): what do you do for living, WELL I AM A FARTIST.
At the end of 1800 (1894) and 1900 there was a guy performing in Paris, in the MOULIN ROUGE, called "le petomane"( translated in English: the fart maniac. (see wikipedia). His real name is, or was JOSEPH PUJOL (+1945). He was able to fart the "Marseillaise= French national hymn.
On youtube there is a video called "blazing sadles".
Today there are also some FARTISTS. Take google: search fart artists, you will even see that they sell a "fart cd" on amazon.com.
Small extra note: every living person farts a few hours a day, most of the people don't realise it. When you breathe, or you drink a soda, just remember that the air going IN, has to come OUT. Oral & Anal.
If we are able to colour a fart, in red or green, you will see, walking on 5th avenue in New York, a lot of red "clouds" behind men and women.

Hey doc you could have written you thesis on that alone........

ok things impossible....

Reading your doctors handwritting.

My 14 year old daughter being in a good mood....anyone that has the cure for this please e-mail me and we can sell the idea together.

Honest politicians

fast FOOD.... the stuff they dish out cannot be considered as food

sneezing with eyes open

Michel

I can do this.

Seriously.

Badeye.

That one just made me bust out laughing! Great Image! Gosh thats so funny.
Have to remember that one!

Old Doll.

Thanks Funny Guy,

for that splendid performance!  Ill be having nightmares now trying to erase that one from my sleep!

Goodnight or Goodday, whatever your time zone is.

Old Doll.

Hello Old Doll. There is a song by Roger Miller called
"You can't roller skate in a bufflo herd" It's here on chordie.

Take Care...Badeye.

I hear tell that o'le Jerome can lay down some tasty licks.......Technically perfect of course.

Ark

Funny you mention that.  I'm a fisherman, and I fish from a kayak.  As you might expect, I enjoy the company of other people who fish from kayaks.  It's also a bit safer following the 'buddy system.'  Most of we kayak fishermen modify our kayaks to add items of convenience and comfort.  It's a tinker's paradise, really.  I believe the most humorous modification I've seen is an ashtray affixed to the front deck of one of my buddy's kayaks.  It (the ashtray, not the buddy) was the kind that you drop the butt down inside.  That way the butts would stay in it and not pollute the river when she capsized - which was with monotonous regularity. 

- Zurf

Hi Doc
As your into windbreaking as art form we here in the UK have some home grown talent namely "Mr. methane".

Check out his website.......http://www.mrmethane.com/html/frameset.html

Ark

What's happened to the Auto Hyper Link?

Last rebel,

I've never been a girl and not even the devil himself scares me. But when you mention that hormone stuff that's when you see the dust kicking up from my heals because I'm headed for them hills and FAST. What I really wanted to say is I like your tag line especially "thank GOD I'm a guitar man" and I know your a girl and your giving GOD HIS do. Here's one for you " I've tried everything in my life, the things I liked I've done twice". I know I don't have to tell you where that came from because I know You got that right.

Bootlegger.

try sticking your elbow in your ear -- either one