1 (edited by beamer 2018-05-31 02:06:38)

Topic: TORTURED to be renamed WW7

Once again it hits late at night right before I need to go to sleep.  Listening to RATM (Rage Against the Machine for the unknowing)  although this song really doesn't follow any of their style, it just randomly appeared whilst "Killing in the name of" was on.  a late night scribble, re-tooled today. May still be up for another re-write.  FEEDBACK WELCOME.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
TORTURED

5/27/2018
Scott Sailer


Seeing your life
Only in death

IM TORTURED

Through your eyes
Your silent cry!

IM TORTURED

Through your eyes
I now can cry.

Casket lays open
In death / peace

NOW WE LOOK DOWN

TORTURED!

THROUGH YOUR EYES, I SEE NO MORE PAIN
THROUGH YOUR EYES
THE LIVES ONCE TOUCHED, NEVER THE SAME

IM TORTURED

My brother, my mate
Oh god why did you hate

LIKE A SON TO A MOTHER,
WHY DID YOU LEAVE US BROTHER?

IM TORTURED

So as you lay to rest, Leaving us to finish the test,
The love you gave, The true friends you made,

THE VOID YOU LEFT
THIS CHASEM BEREFT
THE PAIN THAT NEVER HEALS!

Seeing your life,  Only in death
Only in death,  I’m seeing your life.

Through your eyes
I now can cry! 

IM TORTURED
IM TORTUREDTORTURED

Through your eyes
I now can cry!    (Repeat and fade)

“Find your own sound.  Dont be a second rateYngwie Malmsteen be a first rate you”

– George Lynch 2013 (Dokken, Lynchmob, KXM, Tooth & Nail etc....)

Re: TORTURED to be renamed WW7

Wow. Can def. relate. Very good!!

Re: TORTURED to be renamed WW7

Scott it's very powerful ,but I would perhaps say there's too many tortured references.Unless you are planning to have the tortured bits as a second voice in the background  gradually building to a crescendo at the end. Then maybe leave them as is.

Re: TORTURED to be renamed WW7

Grah1 wrote:

Scott it's very powerful ,but I would perhaps say there's too many tortured references.Unless you are planning to have the tortured bits as a second voice in the background  gradually building to a crescendo at the end. Then maybe leave them as is.

Yep thats the idea. a voice behind the main voice,  but as a refrain. a build up of the pain.

“Find your own sound.  Dont be a second rateYngwie Malmsteen be a first rate you”

– George Lynch 2013 (Dokken, Lynchmob, KXM, Tooth & Nail etc....)

Re: TORTURED to be renamed WW7

I get it Scott great concept.

Re: TORTURED to be renamed WW7

Wow agree, powerful message in this.  Look forward to hearing you perform it beamer.

Laugh Lots ... Forgive Much ...  Love one another     smile
Covers and some Originals found over there    ------- >    https://soundcloud.com/ukulelejan

Re: TORTURED to be renamed WW7

Beamer ... this is exceptional material ... wow! However it's played, the emotions are deep, personal, and incredibly moving.

Re: TORTURED to be renamed WW7

Tenement Funster wrote:

Beamer ... this is exceptional material ... wow! However it's played, the emotions are deep, personal, and incredibly moving.

You have no idea.  The man was not blood, but closer than my own brothers.

“Find your own sound.  Dont be a second rateYngwie Malmsteen be a first rate you”

– George Lynch 2013 (Dokken, Lynchmob, KXM, Tooth & Nail etc....)

Re: TORTURED to be renamed WW7

Here is a scratch track, and yes the picture is who its about.
https://soundcloud.com/beamer326/ww7-tortured

“Find your own sound.  Dont be a second rateYngwie Malmsteen be a first rate you”

– George Lynch 2013 (Dokken, Lynchmob, KXM, Tooth & Nail etc....)

Re: TORTURED to be renamed WW7

As I read this, I am reminded of John Lennon's and Jim Morrison's own "tortures", the exception being that here the writer seems to have resolved his. Am I getting or am I missing your point, Scott. Only the poet himself knows if a "re-write" is needed. If I am indeed understanding you, then in my opinion,  none is necessary, my friend. Well done!

Bill

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