1 Topic by Peatle Jville (edited by Peatle Jville 2017-07-26 22:21:21)

  • Registered: 2015-07-31
  • Posts: 2,793

Topic: Not My Story.

This poem, came to me while chatting to a young person about life when I was a kid. I managed to write it down real quick before it ran away. I  had a little go at doing it with my guitar but unfortunately due to my condition I am unable to play much guitar. I hope the soundcloud effort gives you an idea how the poem should be read.

https://soundcloud.com/eatleville/not-my-story   

                                                                 Not My Story
When I was a little boy.growing up to maybe age twelve.
Our parents never seemed  to worry at all.
They trusted us to disapear and come back safely in one piece.
And left us to have adventures of our own,
Yes they left us to have adventures of our own.
And back at home in most families was a mother and a father.
Though I must admit that story isnt my own.
I must admit that story isnt my own.
But I didnt feel differant because there was people suporting me.
Even though it was just me.
My mother, brother, sister and me.
Today it's more common for families to have one perant.
And everyone worries more about their Kids.
And mothers and  fathers have to work to provide the things to keep them on this earth.
When I was younger it  would seem alot simpler.
Though I don't know if it's the truth.
It seemed to me  that most homes only had one perant that  did work.
There was mother looking after the house.
Father paying the way.
Though I must admit that's not my story  but some how it feels the same.
Some how it feels the same,

  • From: Nova Scotia, Canada
  • Registered: 2013-01-20
  • Posts: 4,083

Re: Not My Story.

Great work, Peatle ... and I love your free-flowing style.

It's strange / sad how we're on opposite sides of the globe, but both noticing the erosion of the "family unit". I'm not being critical of anyone, but I have so many happy memories of my childhood, that I sometimes feel sad for those who won't experience "family" as you and I did.

Indeed, it feels the same ...

3 Reply by Peatle Jville (edited by Peatle Jville 2017-07-26 11:32:24)

  • Registered: 2015-07-31
  • Posts: 2,793

Re: Not My Story.

Thank you TF  very true what you said. I think those of us around the  60 and over experienced a good time to be born.

The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other's life.   A Richard Bach Quote

  • From: Wellington New Zealand
  • Registered: 2010-03-24
  • Posts: 1,388

Re: Not My Story.

Peatle
you`re on fire!
doing some wonderful stuff lately.
another cracker.
i look forward to what comes next.

The King Of Audio Torture

5 Reply by Peatle Jville (edited by Peatle Jville 2017-07-26 23:00:35)

  • Registered: 2015-07-31
  • Posts: 2,793

Re: Not My Story.

Thank you easybeat. I can go for ages and not a song or poem will enter my head. Then when I  am usually not thinking about songs or poems words seem to appear. I guess part of writing poems is letting people into your inner theatre. To get some appreciation for your own self expression only comes from telling your same life stories to different people until  finally someone appreciates them..

  • From: USA
  • Registered: 2017-11-30
  • Posts: 14

Re: Not My Story.

Great poems. flowing style was really good. looks like you are on fire. made a blast. best of luck with your next poems.

CLipping path house provides all kind of image editing services like image retouching, image masking, raster to vector and all kind of clipping path service.

clippingpath.18k's Website

  • From: West Georgia
  • Registered: 2006-10-14
  • Posts: 2,557

Re: Not My Story.

This is what I call a mixture of "free verse", poetry and lyrics, and you seem to have packed all three into this work, Peatle.

You also planted the thought in peoples' minds that this is autobiographical and at the same time conveying the fact that if it wasn't you wish it had been.

It shouldn't be this way, but in my opinion the times and cultures are making it tougher for our children to actually do things we expect: be kids. Their environment is causing them to be and exhibit adulthood much faster than they have to,

Parenthood can't totally be taught to both sexes, (in my opinion)  Pete. In the case of mothers, it may be instinctual and what one has learned from one's own maternal parent, and that seems to work more times that it doesn't.

Fathers, on the other hand have to "work" at it a little harder, and very often have to  blaze new trails for themselves depending on the kind of childhood they may have had.

You have conveyed this beautifully my friend and may I suggest you print this and put it into a book/file marked "Pete's Poetry, Prose and Songs."

It's that] good.

Your friend

Bill

PS: Sorry for the length, but you "awakened" emotions which I'd forgotten I had.

Epiphone Les Paul Studio
Fender GDO300 Orchestral - a gift from Amy & Jim
Rogue Beatle Bass
Journal: www.wheretobud.blogspot. com
  • Registered: 2015-07-31
  • Posts: 2,793

Re: Not My Story.

ClippingPath welcome to chordie thank you for your kind wishes.
Bill excellent commentary thank you. It is good to have your gift of words back here in Chordie Land. I am trying to put together a collection of prose, poems and short stories for my family. To be a kid today is with all the differant pressure alot differant from our time.
Your friend
Pete