I can`t get myself to play.

hey Joey, I feel your pain. I once enjoyed a libation or two a few years ago, average night (with the band) half bottle of Napoleons finest with several pints of Australia's best amber nectar. What got me to calm down was having to face down a couple of coppers that stopped me for speeding after downing lots of port and brandy. I'd began the night with 2 pints of lager and that's all I told the police I'd had!!! Hard to believe but they believed me, just giving me a warning about speeding thanks to whoever is watching over me. I've heard the "gypsy's" warning (as my mother used to say) and now I have a drink or two but not when I'm driving. I know it's not the same thing, but if your mind and will are strong you will do it.
Phill

You'll wind up a much better player too.  Think of this as overcoming a plateau.  Like learning barre chords lol.

Don't know if this is going to help but I quit drinking about 7 years ago not because I wanted to but my doctor on the advise of my landlord had me committed to the hospital for severe alcohol addiction I was told later I almost died, talk about a wake up call! I experienced the worst nightmares in my life for several days they had me under surveillance 24/7 after a week I was able to get out of bed with the help of a nurse and a  walker so I walked up and down the corridors and steps gaining my balance back and little by little I started to feel better when I was released I had to do something and like you I was climbing the walls but I stuck to the diet soda and ate healthier meals and started to practice again and after a few months I was feeling normal again just had to develop new habits that were healthier. I can tell you it will not be easy, temptation will always be there but that's where you have to get stubborn and with me that experience in the hospital was one I NEVER wanted to feel again. Today I am in a top notch band with gigs upcoming I have good friends and I lost over 65 lbs on a diet the last 7 months so I feel good and look much better might even find a lady to share some time with that sure beats sitting around the TV good luck and hang in there. Russell

This may help. I put in for retirement from my job today. 3 months left. Working 13-14 hours a day nonstop for years was starting to take its toll.  I will get 2 weeks rest in May and start looking for a new job. Something a little more age friendly. Still holding off on any drinking.  Trying to go all the way with this. Plus, I don`t want to end up like my father. He died in 1984. Nine months before he was going to retire. I still have a lot of life left in me. I was going to have a couple tonight to celebrate. I changed my mind. Hawiian Punch instead.

Giving up a part of your life, and usually a lot of people associated with it, isn't easy. I was there. When I gave up my vice, which wasn't alcohol,  I not only gave it up, I moved a couple months later, left no forwarding address and only told a few people. It needed to be a clean break for it to work. I had one relapse a couple months after I quit but it ended up reinforcing my resolve to be done with it.  It took me a few more months to start feeling normal again. I didn't even realize I wasn't feeling normal until it started coming back to me. After I was completely free I found that even being around someone that partied the way I used to, I didn't care. Nothing was going to drag me back to the abyss I had been headed for.

Hang with it. It WILL get better. Maybe I'll see you in NY in August.

Best of luck to you.  That job has been beating you down emotionally for a long time. I'm sure it will be a huge weight off your shoulders.

EVERYTHING they all said! 

I don't know much about much, but I think all the above sounds like really solid advise from folks that have been there or watched others be there... where ever that is.  You've had a rough couple years, and lots of reason to try to force your brain to relax and stop thinking.  I hope you can find a safer alternative while you work through things.  Find a way to let the music move you, take some voice lessons to go along with your guitar knowledge, go try something different like a goofy craft or something (I bet Chris would adore that). 

You got this, and you've got a whole corner of the world supporting you!  Who knows, maybe we WILL see you this summer after all!  Best wishes in the job hunt, after you take some time to unwind and de-stress of course!