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Guitar chord forum - chordie → Chordie's Chat Corner → Help! I'm not cool enough to be in a band.
Hi all,
The title sums it up, I need some friendly advice. I started guitar to be popular. It doesn't work, and it certainly doesn't make me able to join a band. 
Thanks everyone
go solo ( like you are now) and be a person it hyour own label.
Dont do thngs to impress others, do it to impress yourself.
if others dont like it then tough.
I am guessing you are young ( under 17), if so dont worry, ye'll nearly be old enough to go to pubs and clubs and meet others that feel the same.
If your guitar playing abilityis good enough then you start a band and dictate to them, who cares if you hate them or they hate you, as long as good music is getting made.
Ken
Ok, thanks Ken.
I don't want to be in a band with enemies though. I have enough enemies as it is. It's not my fault, some people just think I practice Witchcraft which I DON'T! But going solo? Who's going to want to listen to ME? Never mind
Take your time and dont be in such a hurry. Practice your guitar. I promise you one day when you become pretty good you will get noticed and you will even be able to start or join a band if thats what you want. Just stick with it and you will see
If you lived here I'd start a band with yah, I live in canada, I'm 16 and i've been playing guitar for about 7 months...Who cares about being 'cool' or 'popular' be you! Like ken said. My friends either don't want to be in a band or are too busy...so yeah...I hope I can be really good at guitar someday...I don't take guitar lessons...I just look up chords and songs on the internet and this site...anyways...
Good luck paranormal guitar!
Samantha
Oh dear. 16 and no-one understands me. We've all been there. Like the others say - there's not really any point in going out there and strutting your stuff if you have no stuff to strutt. Take your time, play that guitar as often and as long as you can. Get goooood.
Take it from a guy who has never been cool, it's not worth selling your soul for. Be yourself and the friends will come. If you keep at it and the playing is good then people will listen.
I'm 40 and have just reached the stage of playing round the campfire. Music is a great ice breaker.
Strum on!
Be your own person not a sheep!
It's hip to be square.
Years ago, (oh my god he's going to bore me to death with his war experiences),
I played bass in a band when I was at university.
We used to get a free rehearsal room with a glass wall front right next to the campus auditorium.
Well, looking up from a particularly difficult bass part one day, I was horrified to see the Ramones (with high maintenance girlfriends) staring at us through the glass wall. (they were playing a gig there that day). At that point I thought, am I ever going to be as cool as that (but I didn't stop playing).
Moral of story.
The Ramones made nine albums and saw great chicks, but I'm still alive and playing. (sorry only three of them are dead, Hi Tommy)
Join any old band, play whatever you like, you are as cool as you want to be.
keep on rockin' ( I know that sounds twee, but it's from the heart)
David
If you can play more than the handful of chords I can play, then you are much, much cooler than me...and that has to account for something! ;-)
~ Devildog's Doll
Cool comes from being who you are, not from doing what others expect you to do. Anyone who wants you to be something you aren't to earn the label cool doesn't know what cool is.
Be who you are and accept other people for who they are. Seek to improve yourself by your standards, and if you're so inclined by the standards set forth in Scriptures. That's how I've lived my life, and while I don't have a lot of friends, the ones I have are good ones and have stood by me for a long time - and vice versa. But I have never, ever been cool. I'd rather be a dork with good friends I can count on than cool with folks who'll turn their back on me as soon as I make a mistake.
- Big D
None of these ideas help, but thanks for trying.
how old are you?
change your looks maybe
it may help
learn some really heavy songs or more practise
Have you managed to get any songs covered? Alot of bands spend endless time rehearsing but never really do much anyone else would want to listen to. If you can play and sing with a bit of confidence and humour it cancels out all the flash playing and posing that goes on in bands.
Look for a song close to your heart, that sums up what you want say, a kind of 'I'm here' song. Hopefully it'll be simple and you can play it no matter how nervous you are. Then you'll be ready for the question 'oh is that a guitar? can you play? go on play me something'. Watch their faces change when you can belt out something they recognise...
Here's a thought -- do what i did. i started a guitar club at our local community center and invited other acoustic musicians in to play. it's basically just a free-for-all jam session. but we all have tons of fun. our numbers fluxuate. but we have a core group of good guys who just want to get together and play and sing. and we invite everyone in -- doesn't matter how good or bad they are. Once in a while we even get a few people to come in and listen to us. And we've even put on a couple of shows. unfortunately we've had our share of snobs who thought they were too good to bother with us, or didn't like the way we were organized, or disorganized, but like i said, it's great fun, and some of us wouldn't give it up for anything. We also learn a lot from each other. of course, it help that i am the manager of the center. but if you can catch a community center manager with a sympathic ear, or maybe even one who plays or wants to play, you might be able to talk him into starting a group.
If you lived here I'd start a band with yah, I live in canada, I'm 16 and i've been playing guitar for about 7 months...Who cares about being 'cool' or 'popular' be you! Like ken said. My friends either don't want to be in a band or are too busy...so yeah...I hope I can be really good at guitar someday...I don't take guitar lessons...I just look up chords and songs on the internet and this site...anyways...
Good luck paranormal guitar!
Samantha
I'd join too, I'm also Canadian, 18, self taught, been playing 5 years. Most of my friends aren't into guitar (except for the game guitar hero II, i can kill all of them at it). Don't worry about playing to impress others, if theres anything i've learned its that the more you learn stuff you like the faster you will learn. And don't worry about the whole cool thing, it's impossible to play guitar and not be cool. The fact that you can make music from a piece of wood and some metal strings is a pretty awesome feat in itself.
(PS Samantha, you remind me of me when I was learning, I used the internet and looked up chords and tabs and now i can decipher most songs by ear. Lessons help but when you are self taught you really gain an appreciation for the music you learn and you learn to figure things out for yourself, a VERY valueable skill.)
lol is this a joke question? Whats being cool have to do with playing music? Yea, of course I know all the stereotypes. But I know plenty of musicians who arent cool. Of course "I" am though. 
lol Actually, as a 41 year old grandpa, Im past my cool days. But hey, who says we have to grow old gracefully?
You started playing guitar for the wrong reason.
You started playing guitar for the wrong reason.
Yes but you're not me are you? You don't even know me, it was the right reason for me. Other than a career and enjoying a hobby, why else would you start playing? 
Have to think about that...
It doesn't matter why you started playing, what matters is why you are STILL playing. Obviously you're trying to accomplish something. You wanna be "cool", hey man go for it. If you play decent guitar, someone will end up wanting to be in a band with you. Until then practice, and don't be afraid to show people up. I started guitar for the same reason you did, when I moved to my new house I wanted to be accepted by the kids in my neighborhood, they loved rock ,and a couple played guitar. I started playing out on my front porch until finally they accepted me. After that I realized that I loved playing the guitar! Even now, it's one of the few things I've ever really been passionate about. Stick with it man, and one day when you end up on MTV you can scream at all those highschool losers who thought you were some weirdo witchcraft kid.
jerome.oneil wrote:You started playing guitar for the wrong reason.
Yes but you're not me are you? You don't even know me, it was the right reason for me. Other than a career and enjoying a hobby, why else would you start playing?
Have to think about that...
I'm not complaining that my popularity ploy isn't working, either.
You should play because you love to make music. Any other reason is going to lead to failure. Any "I do X because I want to be popular" is going to come across as transparent.
Want to be popular?
1. Bathe regularly.
2. Find out what you like, and do that.
3. Be able to carry on a conversation without mentioning your willie, farts, or poop. Nailing #2 down usually helps.
4. Don't pretend to be something you're not, or pretend to do something you can't.
hey there i play for the fun of it im not great but i enjoy myself.. i just turned 50 and have been playing for 3yrs.. so do it for yourself piss on the ...life is to short to sweat that crap
Holy crap!!! Stop whining about your lack of coolness. Nobody gives a monkey's banana whether you're cool or not. Live for the music. I bet you can play half of us in under the table any day,( me for sure!) but your extreme lack of self confidence will always hold you back. If other people don't think you should be in their band...chuck them. Start your own or go solo. Dude, you worry over the weirdest things!
Adolescence is a time of heart-breaking anxiety. Kids want to be accepted and respected. They want to be individuals, but have not yet acquired the life experience to be comfortable with their individuality. The 'cool' ones are just as terrified and self-conscious as all the other kids - but they are just better at swaggering about and pretending not to be afraid.
All the advice above about finding something you love to do and then learning to do it well is excellent. Also, the advice about conducting yourself in a manner that shows you have self respect. So, if guitar appeals to you then focus your intellect upon learning as much as you can about music in general and guitar in particular.
Non-musicians and non-artists find it very easy to deride people who chose to pursue the expressive arts (music, theater, art, poetry, literature, etc.). However, you will eventually find other persons who share a passion for creating. Creative people are few and far between, so don't expect everyone to understand your passion - just do what you do well, and you will find kindred spirits. James
I'm just a creepy old guy, but don't do what they say you should or how they say you should with respect to your art. If you're not in not for the art, you may as well get a banjo.
James is like the paternal grandpa of this site. 
That's sound advice.
I teach my kids that the table they sit at is always the "cool table," no matter what. I preach that as a matter of certainty. I teach them that whatever they are wearing is the height of fashion, whatever they are doing is the coolest thing you can do, and they are the best and the brightest no matter what.
They can't grow to be independent people if they are always following the crowd.
"Popular" only exists in your head.
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