Topic: No title yet...Any ideas?

Here's a song I wrote...Well,it's just lyrics now.My friend and I are still trying to compose the music....

The love and the acceptance
Blinded by hate and anger
Such an insignificance
Making our bond a disaster

Niku shimi no naifu o suteru
Watashi no kokoro o sashita
Niku shimi no ju- to dangan o haku
Watashi no kokoro o utta

Kodomo no omoi de ni kizu o iyasu
Arasai sezu ni sho-rai no tame ni
Watashi tachi no kizuna to shu-fuku
Watashi ga okonatte iru ayamachi o yurushi

Wasurete
Watashi o ukeire
Anata no jinsei no ichi bu to shite
Shite kudasai

Stop treating me like an animal
I am a human,just like you!
I have a heart and also feelings
Should I keep reminding you?

Yorokobi kakan o o wasurenaide kudasai
Watashitachi o ni yotte watasa reru yori akaruku kakan
Nani korera no memori ni nani ga okotta
Karera-jikan no suna ni umore tete imasu ka?

Stop treating me like an animal
I am a human,just like you!
I have a heart and also feelings
Should I keep reminding you?

Watashi nemuri no sakyū kara karera o hora
Warai, gēmu, himitsu o motto
Anata wa zaihō o mitsukeru tame ni kokoromita koto ga arimasu
Matawa karera wa ni jūyōde wa arimasen?

Watashi anata ga yuute hoshī
"Aishiteru"
Toki anata wa watashi o ukeiremasu nodarou ka?

Please discard the weapons of this war
For I will still love you forevermore...

Tell me what you think.Does it need anything changed?Or is this already good?
It's my first time writing a song...

Music gives us wings so we can be free

2 (edited by beamer 2013-05-28 21:36:28)

Re: No title yet...Any ideas?

Well seeing as I dont read your native language its hard to help or know what the whole song is saying.
I googled  " Aishiteru" I think that is perfect for what I think your shoooting for.  In english it looks pretty cool and rolls off the toung pretty nice.   or you could call it EVERMORE  Which has a finality about it.
I dont know what rythm or syncopation to read it in either.

“Find your own sound.  Dont be a second rateYngwie Malmsteen be a first rate you”

– George Lynch 2013 (Dokken, Lynchmob, KXM, Tooth & Nail etc....)