[G]Once upon a time, way [G]back when time was new
A [G]King was sitting on his throne, [G7]feeling a little blue
He said, "I've [C7]lived a life of opulence, I've [C7]lived a life of ease.
I [G]am a man of consequence.I [G]do just what I please.
It's [D7]all been very pleasant, but now I'm [C7]getting long of tooth.
And be-[G]fore I go beyond this world, I want to know 'The [D7]Truth'."
. . . .
He said, "[G]Summon my philosophers, all the [G]elders and wise.
[G]Bring them into my presence, so I can [G7]look them in the eyes."
So a [C7]call went out across the land, for [C7]gurus, sages and seers,
And [G]mathematicians, astronomers and phy-[G]sicians to appear.
And when [D7]all the finest minds were [C7]under one big roof,
He said, "'The [G]Truth' is what I'm after, and you will give me [D7]proof!"
. . . .
At [G]first there was great cheering, big [G]smiles all around
'We're [G]all so very smart here, so the [G7]answer will be found!'
But [C7]once they started working, the [C7]rifts they did appear
Those [G]experts just kept arguing, a con-[G]sensus was not clear
It [D7]started to get nasty, and [C7]tempers they did flair
There was [G]pouting shouting shoving and biting and lots of pulling of [D7]hair.
. . . .
The [G]experts did do battle, and the [G]meeting went amok
The [G]timid and defenseless were [G7]simply out of luck
[C7]Egos were bruised, insults were hurled, and [C7]reputations trashed
[G]Casualties were mounting and [G]lots of stuff got smashed
Spec-[D7]tators gathered to point and gawk and [C7]see the big melee
And [G]that was the beginning of the first universi-[D7]ty!
. . . .
[G]Meanwhile on the fringe, there [G]sat a wizened crone
[G]Elegant and mysterious, and se-[G7]renely all alone
The [C7]King admired greatly how she was [C7]far above the fray
He re-[G]spectfully introduced himself saying, "[G]Help me Lady, I pray."
She [D7]looked him in the eye, and he [C7]knew 'The Truth' was there
She said, "[G]Fetch me seven blind men and an elephant, if you [D7]dare."
. . . .
[G]Meanwhile all the experts con-[G]tinued their debate
But there [G]wasn't any dialogue, just hot [G7]air as they did orate
The [C7]crowd did mostly drift away, but some [C7]young people hung around
[G]Jeering at the experts and [G]lolling about on the ground
[D7]Somebody did propose that the [C7]show shouldn't be for free
So they [G]started charging tuition in exchange for fancy de-[D7]grees
. . . .
[G]Many moons did pass while the [G]elephant made its way
From e-[G]xotic lands of jungles far a-[G7]cross the turbulent sea
When the [C7]animal did finally arrive, not a [C7]cloud was in the sky
Seven [G]blind men were invited, but they had [G]no idea why
The [D7]crone she told them each to [C7]go and touch the thing
Then [G]please come back and describe 'elephant' for the [D7]King.
. . . .
[G]Meanwhile all the experts they were [G]busy as the bees
[G]Buzzing about their theories and [G7]forming committees
"We are [C7]making steady progress, but this [C7]process will take years.
So you [G]need to give us tenure to e-[G]liminate our fears.
And we [D7]need some proper buildings, on [C7]that we all agree.
[G]Something with many towers overgrown with pretty iv-[D7]y."
. . . .
So [G]one at a time the blind men did [G]valiantly feel their way
'Til they [G]finally each encountered the [G7]'elephant' mystery
Every [C7]man happened to touch it in a [C7]totally different spot
Then [G]one by one they told the King the [G]knowledge that they got
Their im-[D7]pressions were all quite different as I'm [C7]sure you will agree
As they [G]whispered to the King about their discove-[D7]ries
. . . .
The [G]fellow who felt a leg said, "[G]Elephant is a tree."
The [G]one who touched the tail, "'Tis a [G7]rope in the sky clearly."
The [C7]guy who touched the side, "It's just a [C7]wall for heaven's sake."
The [G]toucher of the trunk said, "Ele-[G]phant is a giant snake."
The [D7]guy who grabbed an ear said, "It's a [C7]leather tapestry."
The [G]one who touched a tusk said, "It's a statue obvious-[D7]ly!"
. . . .
Then the [G]seventh man did take his turn [G]out there in the sun
But he [G]never did find the elephant, for he [G7]stepped in a pile of dung
It [C7]mushed there all between his toes and [C7]stunk so horribly
The [G]man let out an anguished scream at the [G]utter indignity
Well, the [D7]elephant was so frightened that it [C7]started to stampede
[G]Running all around the place stomping indiscriminate-[D7]ly
. . . .
[G]Everybody was terrified and a [G]panic did ensue
[G]Chaos did erupt and the con-[G7]fusion quickly grew
The [C7]poor elephant continued in [C7]rampaging frenzied fear
[G]Bellowing so loud and tromping on [G]anything that was near
The old [D7]King was just too slow to [C7]get out of the way
And the [G]elephant stepped upon him wounding him mortal-[D7]ly
. . . .
Well, the [G]King he lay there bleeding with a [G]smile upon his face
The [G]crone knelt down beside him and [G7]offered her embrace
She said, "[C7]Sire, I'm so sorry for [C7]all this horrible mess.
I [G]merely wanted to show you 'The Truth', please [G]pardon the distress."
Then the [D7]King said, "Oh Dear Lady, this has [C7]been so very sweet.
I [G]finally understand 'The Truth' and my life is now com-[D7]plete."
. . . .
The [G]King he did then die with a [G]big old happy grin
The [G]crone went back to her village and [G7]never was seen again
The [C7]elephant went charging off in-[C7]to the wildest woods
The [G]blind men became celebrities, en-[G]dorsing luxury goods
[D7]Meanwhile all the experts from their [C7]ivied tower views
[G]Theorized that elephant would make excellent bar-b-[D7]que!