• From: Starkville, Mississippi USA
  • Registered: 2006-03-04
  • Posts: 2,069

Topic: "Date My Daughter Dissection Blues"

Here's a little slow blues thing that most any daddy can identify with . . . Luckily, my daughter is so confident and pretty and smart that she scares away most guys. 

Date My Daughter Dissection BluesJames McCormick, June 6, 2007


slow 12-bar blues


I [G]know just what you're thinking, it's so [G]very clear to me


I [G]know your mind is filled with [G7]sexual fantasy


Your [C]thoughts are running wild, expec-[C]tations are sky high


[G]Pure hormonal frenzy is [G]gleaming in your eyes


But be-[D]fore you let your gonads over-[C]ride your teenage brain


Let me [G]share with you some thoughts that will spare you lots of [D7]pain . . .


. . . .


My [G]daughter is a person with a [G]mind that is all her own


My [G]daughter is a baby who be-[G7]lieves she is fully grown


My [C]daughter is the most precious [C]thing in the world to me


My [G]daughter is so beautiful, I'm [G]sure you would agree


My [D]daughter is intelligent, she's [C]ten times smarter than you


And [G]if you hurt my daughter, I will personally dissect [D7]you . . .


. . . .


Your [G]organs I shall sell to the [G]ones who can pay the most


You're more [G]valuable in pieces, so it [G7]might get a little gross


The [C]parts that I can not sell, I'll grind [C]up into a paste


And [G]feed it to my dogs, there [G]won't be a bit of waste


Your [D]family will wonder why you [C]suddenly disappeared


But [G]other folk will whisper, "Well, he was always a little [D7]weird!" . . .


. . . .


I [G]hope you to have a good time, I want you [G]both to have some fun


But [G]if you hurt my daughter, there ain't [G7]no place you can run


I will [C]find you in the mountains, I will [C]find you in the swamp



I will [G]find you in the wilderness and your [G]gonads I will stomp


It'll [D]be too late for excuses, it'll [C]be too late to retreat


Yeah, [G]justice will be swift and sharp, justice will be com-[D7]plete . . .


. . . .


Well, [G]I was once a young man, I re-[G]member just what it is like


To be [G]so darn full of hormones with a [G7]**** like a railroad spike


I re-[C]member being all pimply and [C]horny constantly


The [G]only thing I really wanted to do was ful-[G]fill my sexual greed


But [D]now I'm a little wiser, my per-[C]spective it has changed


My [G]**** are not the boss of me, my priorities are re-ar-[D7]ranged . . .


. . . .


So ap-[G]preciate my daughter for the [G]person that she is


[G]Revel in her presence, don't try just to [G7]pump her full of ****


I [C]don't want to have to hurt you, but I'll [C]slice you all apart


If you [G]toy with her emotions or [G]break her trusting heart


If you [D]want to grow as old and [C]grumpy and wise as me


Treat [G]each and every woman with respect and digni-[D7]ty . . .


. . . .


You [G]seem like a decent fellow, you're [G]probably not a creep


My [G]daughter seems to like you, she [G7]says that you are 'deep'


She's been ex-[C]cited about this evening, she's been [C]primping intensively


I'm [G]sorry she is not ready yet, can't say [G]how much longer she'll be


But I'm [D]glad we've had this time for our [C]friendly little chat


Just re-[G]member what I've told you and your organs will stay in-[D7]tact . . .



"That darn Pythagorean Comma thing keeps messing me up!"
[url]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pythagorean_comma[/url]

James McCormick's Website

  • Registered: 2007-05-22
  • Posts: 86

Re: "Date My Daughter Dissection Blues"

WOW....this song does hit the nail on the head...i got scared reading it tongue
keep writing
saba

love is like a violin, the music may stop now and then but the strings remain forever...
  • Registered: 2007-04-03
  • Posts: 3,489

Re: "Date My Daughter Dissection Blues"

Hi James, if you were near i would give you the biggest Hug.. That song should be everys
Fathers Anthem!
My 8 Brothers, were like that with my sisters and I.   Its a nice feeling that someone loves you so much, they will do anthing to uphold your Dignity.

Your a Gem!
Slán
Old Dol

Why Blend in with the Crowd ? When you were made to stand out !
  • Registered: 2007-06-03
  • Posts: 11

Re: "Date My Daughter Dissection Blues"

Hi James,

I think you hit the nail on the head with this song. It's every father's nightmare when his daughter starts dating and you summed the feelings up very well. It's very humorous in places and sentimental in others.  I got a kinda country feel when pklaying it and it works well. Good work mate

Tommyboy2

  • From: Hendersonville, NC USA
  • Registered: 2006-03-04
  • Posts: 2,521

Re: "Date My Daughter Dissection Blues"

Well stated James - I don't have to tell you I feel the same about my daughter. It should be a manditory part of every daughter's first date.

Great job!

J  E  T  S
...and yet a Washington Commanders fan (unless they change their name again) ...long story...HTT...C

jets60's Website

  • From: Bellevue, WA
  • Registered: 2006-06-15
  • Posts: 3,336

Re: "Date My Daughter Dissection Blues"

As the father of a beautiful 17 year old girl, all I can say is BRAVO!


*crowd goes wild....*

Someday we'll win this thing...

[url=http://www.aclosesecond.com]www.aclosesecond.com[/url]

jerome.oneil's Website

  • From: Wilkes, Georgia
  • Registered: 2007-05-08
  • Posts: 66

Re: "Date My Daughter Dissection Blues"

Hey let me just start by saying that i could see a lot of the girls' i have dated fathers saying this to me...So, anyone that's a dad out there, let me assure you that if you print this song off for them and tell your daughter's boyfriend to read it, i'll bet he'll think twice before pulling a stunt of his own! And If you want to do that just hghlight James' quote "I will find you in the wilderness and your gonads I will stomp"   Now You've got me wondering about my own relationship with my girlfriend's dad James!
To put it briefly James,   Great Song, as scary as it may be to young men out there,  Great Song!

"Fly on Proud Bird, At Last You Are Free"
-Charlie Daniels
  • From: derbyshire
  • Registered: 2007-05-17
  • Posts: 2,844

Re: "Date My Daughter Dissection Blues"

YOUR SPOT ON WITH THIS SONG ,WHEN I STARTED GOING WITH MY MRS I ENDED UP PUTTING A BUN IN THE OVEN SO I KNOW FIRST HAND WHERE YOU ARE COMING FROM .
THE MOTHER-IN-LAW SAID WHATS UP COULD'NT YOU CONTROL YOURSELF HA HA .100%

love is life ,life is for love,keep a true heart and live life to the full....stay cool

daddycool's Website

  • From: Starkville, Mississippi USA
  • Registered: 2006-03-04
  • Posts: 2,069

Re: "Date My Daughter Dissection Blues"

The real bottom line for this whole situation is that I trust my daughter and respect her judgement.  However, it is just plain scary when your child begins to date!

"That darn Pythagorean Comma thing keeps messing me up!"
[url]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pythagorean_comma[/url]

James McCormick's Website

  • From: Bellevue, WA
  • Registered: 2006-06-15
  • Posts: 3,336

Re: "Date My Daughter Dissection Blues"

How can I add this one to my songbook?  I'm going to steal it and play it every night.

I think Meathead needs to hear it a couple of times.  big_smile

Someday we'll win this thing...

[url=http://www.aclosesecond.com]www.aclosesecond.com[/url]

jerome.oneil's Website

  • From: Starkville, Mississippi USA
  • Registered: 2006-03-04
  • Posts: 2,069

Re: "Date My Daughter Dissection Blues"

Jerome, glad you like it and sorry that you will find it so useful!  To move it into your songbook, here is a work-around . . .
1. Log in to the forum.  Copy the song onto your clipboard.
2. Go to your Songbook, pick a victim song (one that you can spare).
3. Open the victim song using the 'edit' button at the end of it's listing.
4. In the upper/edit pane on your screen, delete the victim song entirely, BUT leave the {t:title} and {st:subtitle} lines intact.
5. Paste in the new song where the victim song used to be.
6. Change the new song's title and subtitle lines to {c:xxxxxxx} lines.
7. Hit the 'save' button between the panes.  Then hit the 'return to songbook' button.
8. The new song is listed under the 'victim songs' title.  You can now open and transpose and print the new song.

PS Don't traumatize Meathead too badly, your daughter may actually love the lunk!  James

"That darn Pythagorean Comma thing keeps messing me up!"
[url]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pythagorean_comma[/url]

James McCormick's Website

  • From: Almancil, Algarve, Portugal
  • Registered: 2006-09-02
  • Posts: 6,204

Re: "Date My Daughter Dissection Blues"

Hi James,

Sorry I have only just had time to play this one and having two daughters, I know your feelings well. As girls are usually late getting ready I have a vision of a nervous young man sitting in your lounge and you putting on a recording of this to keep him 'amused' whist he is waiting for her. lol

Well done,

Roger

"Do, or do not; there is no try"

Roger Guppy's Website

  • From: Bellevue, WA
  • Registered: 2006-06-15
  • Posts: 3,336

Re: "Date My Daughter Dissection Blues"

James McCormick wrote:

Jerome, glad you like it and sorry that you will find it so useful!  To move it into your songbook, here is a work-around . . .
1. Log in to the forum.  Copy the song onto your clipboard.
2. Go to your Songbook, pick a victim song (one that you can spare).
3. Open the victim song using the 'edit' button at the end of it's listing.
4. In the upper/edit pane on your screen, delete the victim song entirely, BUT leave the {t:title} and {st:subtitle} lines intact.
5. Paste in the new song where the victim song used to be.
6. Change the new song's title and subtitle lines to {c:xxxxxxx} lines.
7. Hit the 'save' button between the panes.  Then hit the 'return to songbook' button.
8. The new song is listed under the 'victim songs' title.  You can now open and transpose and print the new song.

PS Don't traumatize Meathead too badly, your daughter may actually love the lunk!  James

Sounds like it's "New Feature" time at Chordie.   smile

I'm not worried about traumatizing him.   I taught her the secret of boys.  They're dumb, and easy to replace.

Plus, it will only hurt for a minute...

Thanks for the tip.  I'm off to find a sacrificial song...

Someday we'll win this thing...

[url=http://www.aclosesecond.com]www.aclosesecond.com[/url]

jerome.oneil's Website