Critisism

Hi ILuvJefferyNeroHardy(thats a heck of a handle)
I know exactly how you feel.I have dealt with this my whole life and it is has been very difficult.
Just cause someone knows how to tick you off doesn't mean they know what makes you tick.
I spent my whole youth thinking the same thing and bottling myself up in my"safe place" so nobody could reach out and hurt me.As I got older it didn't get any better and I ended up in some pretty intensive therapy.In that therapy I found out that the best thing I could've done was discuss this with my Mom(but like you I didn't want to worry her as my Dad passed away at a young age)
There is no shame in counseling and I suggest and hope you find someone you feel good with.
Another way to look at this is that you have to train your brain to not feel these emotions as the emotional brain is dictating to the logical brain what to feel.I know it sounds kinda goofy but I am 54 and you have to trust me when I say I've been there and that's a long hill to climb unless you start early.
Have you thought about writing songs about how you feel?
I truly hope this helps you and if you want to Email me to talk thats OK to.
Your Non-Judgmental Friend 
KAP54

Hi ILuvJefferyNeroHardy and welcome to chordie!

For some people, high school is their glory days.  For others, high school is a miserable and lonely place.  Please realize that your peers are just as confused (if not moreso) as you are - don't put much stock in their criticisms.

For me high school was mostly miserable and lonely.  I wasn't a jock or a socialite or a stoner or whatever the various tribal groups are called nowadays.  I guess I was mostly just a nerd of some sort - but I didn't even fit in with the other nerdish types.

In retrospect I now understand that I didn't fit in because high school was a miserably dysfunctional and totally fabricated little society.  There was no place good for me there because I just didn't fit within any of the typical little tribes.  It was a very good thing to finish high school and get on with my life and become comfortable with my individuality.

It has all worked out just dandy for me - I now teach at a university, I have a wide variety of interests that keep me going, I am happily married, and we have a son and a daughter (plus 6 dogs, but that's another story).

Being uncomfortable as an adolescent is not unusual - however, if your inner turmoil is affecting your ability to function then you need to start talking to somebody about it.  Talking in and of itself is not a cure - but learning how to express your feelings to another person can help you gain some perspective.

My wife is a Guidance Counselor in our local high school.  I can attest to the fact that she is very interested in (and capable of) helping students achieve their fullest potential.  Perhaps there is somebody just as capable in your school?

It  is good you can talk to your mother.  It is better to be open with your parents than to try and pretend they don't exist or that they don't care or that they can't understand.

What do you do for fun?  What makes you smile and laugh and chuckle?
James

ILuvJefferyNeroHardy ,

Hi,

Some questions for you!

Whats your biggest fear at the moment! Usually this is the key to all your feeling?

How do you know people critisize you after knowing you  only a few seconds?
Do you dress or present youself in a totally weird manner? giving a wrong impression to others?
Are you being overly sensitive?
Do you smile when people approach you, to make them welcome in your space?
Are you in love with another,  and dont know how to deal with this ?
Do you feel you create the distance between you and others.
Do you feel relaxed and enjoy others company ever { excluding the 2 you mentioned

I do feel if you communicated your thoughts and feelings you would not feel so sad and isolated.
You think your sparing your parents added stress by not relating your feelings to them. Well i can tell
you in all honesty as a parent, i would be more stressed looking at my child knowing there unhappy.
You need to break this mould of holding on to stuff.. The world aint gonna end because you release your fears.

Its perfectly ok to cry when you lose a favourite thing { Person or oblect.} But when your crying, please know exactly why you are! Everyones tears have a natural sedative to them, so crying can be balm to the mind and soul.

You and only you  can know  what your thoughts are in these times of crying.

Might i suggest you fill your spare time with what you love to do. Give yourself a project. Ive been doing this all my life.
it can be big or small/
Write a list of things you would like to achieve in life. Then start with the smallest.
To be happy you need to think happy.  We become introverted with To many heavy thoughts about ourselves, then this shows in our body language.
Your body will display whats going on in your mind. If the thoughts are happy it shows, and vice versa.

I know from your post your an intelligent sensitive person. Writing this post gave you the avenue to express. Get your self a large notebook and keep writing, when your feeling both good and down.

I wish you great success in all you do in life. My private Email is here for you. Please feel free to use this any time.

The biggest warmest hugs to you.

Old Doll

Sometimes suggestions aren't criticism, but attempts to help.  It can be a challange learning the difference. 

Also, in high school, it is cruel, but sometimes folks just get into habits of how to treat one another.  In my high school, it was "the thing" to insult me for some reason.  Eventually I began to act in a way that invited insult.  I began to believe the I deserved insult and did things to invite it.  That was foolish of me.  These other kids had forgotten that I was a person and were acting cruelly towards me just out of habit.  Perhaps the same is true of you.  I don't know.  But I do know it was a mistake for me to dress or act in a way other than the way I wanted to out of reaction to people whose opinions I really didn't care about. 

When I was grown, I bumped into a couple of folks from my high school.  They were people from out of my 'circle' or 'tribe' and in high school we would not have so much as looked at one another.  But when grown, on both occaissions, we had a very nice time catching up with one another.  We had all learned that there's a whole lot more to life than what others think, and we had all become our own persons independent of the tribes. 

Good luck.  I wish you well.  High school was a wretched time for me, but it was necessary to go through to become who I am today. 

- Zurf