1 (edited by SGinCYQX 2008-04-28 18:57:44)

Topic: New lyrics, could do with help

This is something I threw together on a whim. Gives a bit of a nod to the Dakar rally and Lawrence Hacking, the first Canadian rider to finish. Title is borrowed from the book he wrote about the event, I'll change it later probably.

Long Way To Dakar

Out in the desert, all alone
Only tie is a satellite phone
Your heart is pounding, taste the fear
But there's no place you'd rather be than here

Long way to Dakar, longer back
Spend fifteen days on the attack
Sixty miles an hour, fightin' cars
Up on the pegs or you're over the bars

That's the Dakar, that's how it goes
No sleeping but still on your toes
Paris, Dakar, miles in between
And it's worth it when you hear the crowd scream

Your mind's giving out, no backing
But you remember Mr. Hacking
Made it to Dakar, made it through
So suck it up, princess, and pay your dues

It's hard, I know it ain't easy
There's times your stomach gets queasy
No shiny bike, no support crew
But when it matters, you just pull it through

But it's a long way to Dakar and a longer way back
Spend fifteen days always on the attack
Sixty miles an hour, fighting with cars
Up on the pegs or you're over the bars

And that's the Dakar, that's how it goes
Haven't been sleeping but you're still on your toes
Paris, Dakar, and every inch in between
And it all feels worth it when you hear the crowd scream

"You have to get over the love of power, and enjoy the power of love, in order to know peace."
-Jimi Hendrix.

Re: New lyrics, could do with help

hi SGinCYQX you ask for help but did'nt say what help you require,....stay cool

love is life ,life is for love,keep a true heart and live life to the full....stay cool

Re: New lyrics, could do with help

That needs very little help at all, babe.

Someday we'll win this thing...

[url=http://www.aclosesecond.com]www.aclosesecond.com[/url]

4 (edited by SGinCYQX 2008-04-28 18:55:12)

Re: New lyrics, could do with help

Thanks Jerome!

Daddy, I'm really just looking for advice on making the lyrics flow better. From my second-favorite guitar forum, Guitarnoise (I find it much more active than Chordie), I got a bit of rewriting help and have edited the first post to reflect it.

"You have to get over the love of power, and enjoy the power of love, in order to know peace."
-Jimi Hendrix.

Re: New lyrics, could do with help

I'm a "flow" writer, too.  I'm very particular about not having to contrive a lyric in order to get rhythmic flow.  I always feel like musical verses should have a conversational feel to them.

I think what you have there is pretty dang good, but if you want to fine tune it, the best way to do it is to put it to music and play through it.  The rough spots will come out as you do.

Someday we'll win this thing...

[url=http://www.aclosesecond.com]www.aclosesecond.com[/url]

Re: New lyrics, could do with help

SGinCYQX

I dont see anything wrong at all with the flow of these lyrics!

I also learned about Laurence Hacking. So Thank You for that also.

Very good lyrics.

Old Doll.

Why Blend in with the Crowd ? When you were made to stand out !

Re: New lyrics, could do with help

When I get off tomorrow, that's probably what I'll do. Who knows, I might even like it enough to record it.

"You have to get over the love of power, and enjoy the power of love, in order to know peace."
-Jimi Hendrix.

Re: New lyrics, could do with help

Old Doll wrote:

SGinCYQX

I dont see anything wrong at all with the flow of these lyrics!

I also learned about Laurence Hacking. So Thank You for that also.

Very good lyrics.

Old Doll.

Didn't see this before. Thanks for the kind words Doll.

Lawrence is my idol. Any chance to talk about him big_smile .

"You have to get over the love of power, and enjoy the power of love, in order to know peace."
-Jimi Hendrix.