[D7]There's a [G7]plague upon society, a [C7]scourge upon our land
[G7]Spreading through our culture, like a [C7]cancer in our glands
It [G7]causes great despair for [C7]the economy
It [G7]causes white collar crime!It [D7]causes crazy greed! . . .
I'm talkin' 'bout [G7]golf (whack!) yeah golf, it's [C7]even on TV
Where [G7]decent folk and little kids can [C7]watch it constantly
Talkin' 'bout [G7]golf (whack!) yeah golf, a [C7]game of rogues and crooks
The [D7]kind who steal millions by [C7]cooking up the [G7]books . . .
(spoken)
That's [C7]'G' for greedy bastards, [G7]gambling on the greens
[C7]'O' for offshore bank accounts, [G7]opened secretly
[C7]'L' for lost investments, [G7]leaving widows poor
and [D7]'F' for friends with inside facts for [C7]trading on the [G7]floor . . .
[D7]Well, our [G7]federal penitentiaries are [C7]bursting at the seams
With [G7]con man embezzlers with [C7]evil greedy schemes
These [G7]criminals don't shoot guns, they [C7]don't stab with knives
But their [G7]financial misdeeds have [D7]ruined many lives . . .
I'm talkin' 'bout [G7]golf (whack!) yeah golf, the [C7]game of greedy thugs
[G7]Country clubs are street gangs with [C7]turf and fancy rugs
Talkin' 'bout [G7]golf (whack) yeah golf, ad-[C7]dictive just like crack
They're [D7]hooked on shooting under par, it [C7]keeps 'em coming [G7]back . . .
(spoken)
That's [C7]'G' for grandmas nest egg [G7]gone to greedy goons
[C7]'O' for obscene opulence of [G7]overfed buffoons
[C7]'L' for lapsed morality and [G7]illegalities
and [D7]'F' for frozen assets the [C7]courts are gonna [G7]seize . . .
[D7]Well [G7]maybe it's the chemicals in [C7]plastic balls and tees
Or [G7]all the fertilizer they [C7]spread upon the greens
Or [G7]maybe it's the rules that [C7]shrivel up their brains
But [G7]golfers become criminals [D7]greedy and insane . . .
I'm talkin' 'bout [G7]golf (whack!) yeah golf, oughtta [C7]be against the law
Ac-[G7]counting irregularities, em-[C7]bezzlement and fraud
Talkin' 'bout [G7]golf (whack!) yeah golf, e-[C7]xecutives with perks
[D7]Corporate pirates, a-[C7]moral greedy [G7]jerks . . .
(spoken)
That's [C7]'G' for grumpy geezers for [G7]graft and for greed
[C7]'O' for orange jumpsuits con-[G7]victed for misdeeds
[C7]'L' for loss of liberty a [G7]sentence very long
and [D7]'F' for federal time for [C7]financial [G7]wrongs