• From: India
  • Registered: 2024-09-01
  • Posts: 37

Topic: Thoughts of You

A scribbling in my mind
.
.
.
Thoughts of you,
I let them slip out
Or they let me let them
I'm not the one
Holding the reigns
I'm merely a decoy for them
A vessel,
A frail paper cup
Trying to hold the rain
These thoughts
Overrun amuck
Outpour, without constraints 

"I hide behind a mirror of knowledge, I'm never that what you see
It is my wisdom that emanates, and is perceived by you as me"

#penned #not_stolen

2 Reply by Peatle Jville (edited by Peatle Jville 2024-11-12 08:00:36)

  • Registered: 2015-07-31
  • Posts: 2,793

Re: Thoughts of You

Shivan, I like the way you write that from a feeling of vulnerability. Many good songs and poems have to come from a sense where do we belong in situations almost like an overthinking that most humans go through. So your words resonate and would connect with many in not a cliche way.. Sometimes I think when writing poems or songs about what we are feeling or our private thoughts  it's end goal should be to give the reader or the listener a license that it is alright to acknowledge they have had those feelings and thoughts also.

  • From: India
  • Registered: 2024-09-01
  • Posts: 37

Re: Thoughts of You

Peatle Jville wrote:

Shivan, I like the way you write that from a feeling of vulnerability. Many good songs and poems have to come from a sense where do we belong in situations almost like an overthinking that most humans go through. So your words resonate and would connect with many in not a cliche way.. Sometimes I think when writing poems or songs about what we are feeling or our private thoughts  it's end goal should be to give the reader or the listener a license that it is alright to acknowledge they have had those feelings and thoughts also.

I do, however, feel like I'm really writing forcibly a lot of the times.....like I need to write something.....I think I need to soak in the world around a lot more to put a natural flow...thanks for your words
It's good to have my name called out in places like these....by good people like you     

"I hide behind a mirror of knowledge, I'm never that what you see
It is my wisdom that emanates, and is perceived by you as me"

#penned #not_stolen
  • Jandle
  • Jandle
  • Uke-a-lady Moderator
  • Offline
  • Registered: 2015-07-15
  • Posts: 2,010

Re: Thoughts of You

Ryuusei, even if you feel like you are writing forcibly, the main thing is, you can write your thoughts down and express them so well.   That doesn't come easily to everyone when it comes to writing smile     

Laugh Lots ... Forgive Much ...  Love one another     smile
Covers and some Originals found over there    ------- >    https://soundcloud.com/ukulelejan