1 Topic by Ryuusei (edited by Ryuusei 2024-09-05 08:10:45)

  • From: India
  • Registered: 2024-09-01
  • Posts: 37

Topic: ME!!

This is probably the lengthiest I've ever written.......while I was writing this over an Instagram story, I lost the entire stuff due to force closure, and I had only retained the first two and last stanza in memory......so I re did the middle section again from scratch, but I know subconsciously that the original was better.
.
.
.
.

Teach me how to laugh and smile
To leave all my insecurities
It will be a glow-up so much as
Just a notch up on the dial

You cannot begin to imagine
How crazy it's to live,
I find myself so out of place
Still searching for my kin


|| Plane of Gratitude ||

The adjectives you are to me
Are "loving" and "sincere"
Will pray for you to keep that way
So I can live sans fear

And boy, won't it really be
A genuine pleasure
For me to reciprocate to you
That sweet and loving gesture!

|| Plane of Gratitude ||


The expectations you may have, I presume,
Of me being born anew, though
I'd plaintively entreat you,
Just let them let be fume

I vow it won't ever be, I bet,
And this is my solemn oath,
That I'd turn into someone whom
You've never previously met

Just take my words as peremptory
As they could practically come
I would still be him
It would still be ME!!

"I hide behind a mirror of knowledge, I'm never that what you see
It is my wisdom that emanates, and is perceived by you as me"

#penned #not_stolen
  • From: The Land Of Song
  • Registered: 2007-12-10
  • Posts: 5,702

Re: ME!!

Wow, that's a deep one! I find it easy to rewrite a piece if I have the original before me, but rewriting from memory is not so easy. You've done a great job anyway. We'll done     

Ask not what Chordie can do for you, but what you can do for Chordie.

Phill Williams's Website

  • From: India
  • Registered: 2024-09-01
  • Posts: 37

Re: ME!!

Phill Williams wrote:

Wow, that's a deep one! I find it easy to rewrite a piece if I have the original before me, but rewriting from memory is not so easy. You've done a great job anyway. We'll done

Thanks, and the time it takes to recover something from memory is tiring really.........sometimes when I want to extend the length, I use garbage stuff and later polish......I guess that's how it was possible in this case as well     

"I hide behind a mirror of knowledge, I'm never that what you see
It is my wisdom that emanates, and is perceived by you as me"

#penned #not_stolen
  • Registered: 2015-07-31
  • Posts: 2,792

Re: ME!!

First time I have read your poems  Ryuuse if my memory correct and I must say you are good.     

  • From: India
  • Registered: 2024-09-01
  • Posts: 37

Re: ME!!

Peatle Jville wrote:

First time I have read your poems  Ryuuse if my memory correct and I must say you are good.

Thank you, good sir! I've seen your work here which is amazing , and your few videos I've seen are also a sweet treat!
You may call me Shivam( my actual name)     

"I hide behind a mirror of knowledge, I'm never that what you see
It is my wisdom that emanates, and is perceived by you as me"

#penned #not_stolen

6 Reply by Peatle Jville (edited by Peatle Jville 2024-09-09 07:05:00)

  • Registered: 2015-07-31
  • Posts: 2,792

Re: ME!!

Shivan thank you for your kind comments about my videos and other work feel free to call me Pete my actual name.

  • From: India
  • Registered: 2024-09-01
  • Posts: 37

Re: ME!!

Peatle Jville wrote:

Shivan thank you for your kind comments about my videos and other work feel free to call me Pete my actual name.

Thanks!! I would love yours and everyone else's commentary on my works.........it would genuinely make me happy to get opinions

"I hide behind a mirror of knowledge, I'm never that what you see
It is my wisdom that emanates, and is perceived by you as me"

#penned #not_stolen