• Registered: 2010-06-27
  • Posts: 23

Topic: Drive into the Sun

I'm trying to write a country song.  There is no recording of this yet. I'm looking for suggestions on better/different chord progression.  I like the feel of the drop downs to F at the end of each verse and chorus but I'm not crazy about the rest of the chords.

Thanks in advance for your feedback.

Drive into the Sun

[Am]At daybreak she [G]snuck out of that [C]West Texas bedroom, [Am]careful not to [G]wake the man or his [C]dog. [Am]She made herself the [G]last cup of his [C]coffee, [Am]then she crept out to her [G]old rusty [C]Dodge. [Am]When that old engine [G]started on the [C]third prayer, [Am]she spun the tires [G]out of that gravel [C]nowhere. [Am]An old life was [G]over and [C]new one had [F]begun..[G]and she drove into the [C]Sun.

Chorus:
[Am]Driving towards the [G]sun, the future ain’t too [C]clear. [Am]You just know what your [G]leaving in the [C]mirror.  [Am]You just hope that you're [G]going the right di[C]rection. [Am]And you just hope [G] God will help you [C]steer. You gotta [Am]grab that [G]wheel and hold on [C]tight. You gotta [Am]squint to see the [G]road signs of your [C]life. Your gonna [Am]know you made the [G]right turns when it [C]Just Feels [F]Right. [Am]You still have time to [G]chaaaange [C]but the time has [F]come….[G]to drive into the [C]Sun.


[Am]Just 21 but a [G]wife and baby needed a [C]paycheck, [Am]There was no work in [G]towns with chained-up [C]factory gates. [Am]He didn’t [G]know how to work an [C]oil rig, [Am]but heard strong backs [G]could get work in Western [C]states.  [Am]So he put a sleeping [G]bag in his [C]van, and [Am]told her about the [G]new towns in his [C]plans. [Am]She said find us a [G]new home [C]and we'll [F]come….[G]then he drove into the [C]Sun.

Chorus:

He had only known the Army all his life. The war had took his leg and took his wife. He didn’t know what he had left to give, he didn’t know if he had a reason to live. But he met a girl in College that October. She helped him with math and she helped him get over. The pain he thought would never go away. Then he realized that his day wasn’t done….and he drove into the Sun.

Chorus:

2 Reply by Peatle Jville (edited by Peatle Jville 2018-03-17 21:19:56)

  • Registered: 2015-07-31
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Re: Drive into the Sun

Great song chord progression looks good and sounds good in my head.  In the lyrics where there is an , and  such as ... and he drove into the Sun. or and she drove into the Sun.the word and, to me could be changed  to some other word. Apart from that to me it is a great piece of song writing.  Possibly ... Then he realized that his day wasn’t done….as he drove into the Sun.

  • From: Scott County, Virginia, U.S.A.
  • Registered: 2008-03-19
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Re: Drive into the Sun

I like the story your song tells. Try alternative fingering for the chords you don't like, it might give a slightly different "voice" to those chords, which might give you the sound you looking for. Please post a recording, I would  enjoy hearing the story as you tell it.

Live in the "now" - a contentment of the moment - the past is gone - the future doesn't exist - all we ever really have is now and it's always "now".
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Re: Drive into the Sun

I sent you a forum email.  after reading your lyrics, I made some changes but wont post them . thats up to you if you like them .  after reading your other song on here (which is really good btw)  I might seem out of place  with my advice, but i believe in giving my honest opinion when asked and i exxpect the same when I post and ask also.

“Find your own sound.  Dont be a second rateYngwie Malmsteen be a first rate you”

– George Lynch 2013 (Dokken, Lynchmob, KXM, Tooth & Nail etc....)
  • Registered: 2010-06-27
  • Posts: 23

Re: Drive into the Sun

Thank you. If you have suggested changes, go ahead and post them here.  The song has not been recorded, and is just a draft at this point, so there are no bad suggestions.

  • From: The Land Of Song
  • Registered: 2007-12-10
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Re: Drive into the Sun

It appears there are two stories here? Both well written and they draw the reader in. The stories played out in my mind like a movie.

I will try playing it later as it's early morning. I notice though, you use the same chord progression in verse and chorus? So how do you picture the song? A waltz time or 4/4? Fast or slow? A rough recording would help. I find the writing impeccable.

Ask not what Chordie can do for you, but what you can do for Chordie.

Phill Williams's Website

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Re: Drive into the Sun

Phill Williams wrote:

It appears there are two stories here? Both well written and they draw the reader in.

I quite agree!!!

The xception being I'm seeing three scenes, not two

The end of each scene is left unknown, except that they are starting anew - that is fabulous.    Am sure that everyone of us has a different ending for each

This is one of those songs (as a fellow songwriter ) that you say " damn, I wish I had written that !"

I can't wait to hear it in finished form

Jim

Your vision is not limited by what your eye can see, but what your mind can imagine.
Make your life count, and the world will be a better place because you tried.

"Use the talents you possess, for the woods would be very silent if no birds sang except only the the best." - Henry Van Dyke
  • Registered: 2010-06-27
  • Posts: 23

Re: Drive into the Sun

Phill - TIGLJK

Thanks I think you have really captured what that song is all about - with shared experience (driving into the sun) that is relatable.  I would do it as a slow country song but you are right that maybe different chords in the chorus will improve it. To be honest, I choose those chords in a couple minutes as a placeholder for possible better chords.  I am humbled by your comments.

9 Reply by Phill Williams (edited by Phill Williams 2018-03-31 15:58:39)

  • From: The Land Of Song
  • Registered: 2007-12-10
  • Posts: 5,704

Re: Drive into the Sun

hI deadeye.
i've taken some liberties with your song as you can see below. i've changed some words, deleted others and totally messed with the chords. i'm not very good with choruses, so far just looked at the 1st verse, maybe someone else can help there. i've done it to suit a 3/4 time. you could always ignore what i've done completely i wont be offended....

[C] At daybreak she snuck out of that [Em] West Texas bedroom,
[Am] careful not to wake  man or [C] dog.
[Em] She sipped his last cup of [Am] coffee,
then she [F] crept out to her old rusty [G] Dodge.
[Am] When that old engine started on the [F] third prayer,
[Fm] she spun the tiresout of that [G] gravel nowhere.
[C] An old life was over and [Em] new one had begun..
and she [F] drove [G] into the [C] Sun.

Ask not what Chordie can do for you, but what you can do for Chordie.

Phill Williams's Website

  • Registered: 2010-06-27
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Re: Drive into the Sun

That's an improvement on the chords, very cool!

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Re: Drive into the Sun

Just my opinion but that line that ends with
“spun the tires out of that gravel nowhere”. 
Maybe I’m not getting it but that doesn’t make sense to me

Needs a tweak. 

Maybe something like

Her tires spun,  throwing gravel , in a hurry to get anywhere
Or something like that     
I don’t know.  Just a suggestion
It truly is a great song
Phil - send me a copy when it’s done!

Jim

Your vision is not limited by what your eye can see, but what your mind can imagine.
Make your life count, and the world will be a better place because you tried.

"Use the talents you possess, for the woods would be very silent if no birds sang except only the the best." - Henry Van Dyke
  • From: The Land Of Song
  • Registered: 2007-12-10
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Re: Drive into the Sun

Imo that line says it all that first verse Jim. The girl is escaping from a dump in the middle of nowhere and a guy that's....well you get my drift?

Time is the defining thing right now, I'll get back tonight ASAP

Ask not what Chordie can do for you, but what you can do for Chordie.

Phill Williams's Website

  • Registered: 2010-06-27
  • Posts: 23

Re: Drive into the Sun

lol - I know kind of purposely vague in the first verse with the girl - Your mind can fill in the blanks.

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Re: Drive into the Sun

deadeye wrote:

Thank you. If you have suggested changes, go ahead and post them here.  The song has not been recorded, and is just a draft at this point, so there are no bad suggestions.

I totally missed this, now I gotta find the file I saved the changes too! but I will put it up.

“Find your own sound.  Dont be a second rateYngwie Malmsteen be a first rate you”

– George Lynch 2013 (Dokken, Lynchmob, KXM, Tooth & Nail etc....)
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Re: Drive into the Sun

Well here is my suggestions:
DRIVE INTO THE SUN


At daybreak she snuck out of that West Texas bedroom,

careful not to wake his dog. She made herself the last cup of coffee,

Creeping out to her rusty Dodge, holding on to her prayer, the old engine took three

Tries, and spinning her tires, she took off to nowhere.

The past life was over and a new one had begun.

So she drove into the Sun.

chorus
Driving towards the sun, the future ain’t too clear.

You just know what your leaving

And you hope God will help you steer.


You got to grab that wheel, and hold on tight.


Lines passing down the highway,


it Just Feels Right.


When the time has come….to drive into the Sun.


The war took his leg, and another man his wife.

He didn’t know what he had left, he didn’t see a reason for life.

But he met a girl in College and she helped him over

The pain and then he realized that his time wasn’t done….


You gotta grab that wheel   and hold on tight.


As he held her hand,  it Just Felt Right.


and the time had come….to drive into the Sun.

yes they are driving ,,, into ,,, the sun.

“Find your own sound.  Dont be a second rateYngwie Malmsteen be a first rate you”

– George Lynch 2013 (Dokken, Lynchmob, KXM, Tooth & Nail etc....)
  • Registered: 2010-06-27
  • Posts: 23

Re: Drive into the Sun

Thank you Beamer - Thats a good shorter version

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Re: Drive into the Sun

deadeye wrote:

Thank you Beamer - Thats a good shorter version

Thank you.  I think a song should not be too wordy, its a hard one when its a personal story, but I think it holds attention better.

“Find your own sound.  Dont be a second rateYngwie Malmsteen be a first rate you”

– George Lynch 2013 (Dokken, Lynchmob, KXM, Tooth & Nail etc....)