Topic: Need help with this song PLEASE

Gidday.
I`ve been writing some real dogs lately.
This popped into my head, and as usual i had to jot it down
or else it drives me crazy.I think this is rubbish as well, but
there`s a couple of things i like about it. so before i bin it
thought u guys may help me improve it or add chords or to see if i can salvage it?


ABC
Lovin` her was easy
Easy as  A  B   C
Keepin` her happy was harder
Harder than X   Y   Zee
Tried to give her a life style
Should have been easy
Easy as 1   2   3
Went through rough times
Offered to set her free
Said she didn`t want
Money or jewels
She only wanted me
I been a stupid fool
Only wanted lovin`
And that`s as easy
As  A   B   C

The King Of Audio Torture

2 (edited by Grah1 2014-08-14 07:05:49)

Re: Need help with this song PLEASE

Don't give up on this this song could have a great country and western feel to it .The only lyrical changes I would make at the moment would be the removal of the line should have been easy  then it flows a little better at that point. And split  it at Offered to set her free then this  section  would  become  a  chorus  which  is  quite  catchy .
C
Lovin` her was easy
G                   C
Easy as  A  B   C
F
Keepin` her happy was
C                           D
Harder than X   Y   Zee
A#m
Tried to give her a life style
F                   C
Easy as 1   2   3
C
We went through some rough times
G                         C
Offered to set her free

Something  like  this  as  a  chorus   then you  need  to  work  on a  verse  ,hope  it  helps  .

Re: Need help with this song PLEASE

thanks for that idea,you a very clever guy.
i`m starting to like it a bit more.
PLEASE any other suggestions very welcome
i thought it was a bit corny with the rhymes
but hey it just came from now where so i just went with it.
i been looking @ the songs from u experts & they all seem to be love songs
so i think maybe that`s where this originated.
suggestions & brickbats all welcome
thanks

The King Of Audio Torture

4 (edited by dino48 2014-08-14 18:21:33)

Re: Need help with this song PLEASE

I like the chords grah put up,I gave them a try on my acoustic and the song sounds good. It sorta rymes with a Kris Kriistofferson song from the 70's. I think I am remembering  his Me and Bobby Mc gee.

my papy said son your going too drive me too drinking if you dont stop driving that   Hot  Rod  Lincoln!! Cmdr cody and his lost planet airman

Re: Need help with this song PLEASE

this post deleted by moderator as it made no sense as there is no recording with the song as yet.

if your intention is to add spam later....that will also be deleted with your membership

Re: Need help with this song PLEASE

i tend to write a lot of "songs" that don't make it past the first verse. so i keep them in what i call my "slush pile" and when i'm stuck for a line or verse or chord sequence i check out my slush pile. not that i'm saying this song is no good...keep working on it and you'll get there

phill

Ask not what Chordie can do for you, but what you can do for Chordie.

Re: Need help with this song PLEASE

I  have  a  similar pile  Phill  but  I  also  record  the  riff or  melody  on my computer cos  I  cant  always  remember the  way  I  played it