When Big Joe came to Town

Song about misunderstandings - nations separated by a common language as they say.

When Big Joe came to town.

We put out the long red mat
When Big Joe came to town.
And he stood there in his boots and hat
Shakin hands all around.

Big Joe he came from Natches
By way of Portglenone
His mother tongue was rough
As any of our own.

It was when he started talkin,
And we tried to reply.
It was then the mix up started
No matter what we'd try

Divided by a common tongue
That's what we were
Dazed and confused
By a language that we share.
When a car has a boot and not a trunk
When  a honky-tonk's an old shebeen
And sheugh is nothin to do with corn,
Cos muck is what it means.

First he wanted a washroom
so I took him to the baths
Why he hid behind the bushes
I wasn't gonna ask.

When he asked me for a bourbon
And I handed him a biscuit
Well he called that a cookie,
And I knew I was losin' it.

I said we'd go out for the craic
But he said that he'd gone straight
I said I was glad for him
Considerin' his gait.

He got a cheer in the Busy Bee
When he said he stomped on hoods
Then got pulled of a car by the peelers,
Who would never have understood

It was in the bar where the bhoyos drink
He nearly lost the plot
When he said he could care less
And nearly got me shot

But we came to a simple solution
Gave each other plenty of space
Let the whole scheboombang sort itself
So no one would lose face.