1 Topic by telemaster17

(3 replies, posted in Songwriting)

I just wrote this song. i want to get some comments on the lyrics before i write music to it. also if anyone has any suggestions for the music or a change in lyrics. please let me know. i appreciate comments.

Verse 1
I need
To see your beautiful face
I want
To hear your amazing voice
If i could
I'd change all that i have done
I'm sorry
My actions cause you pain

Chorus
We all live under a black sky
wander around sayin "why can't I"
Save us all from this place
Maybe a better life is up in space
All at once it comes back to you
The painful times we've all lived through

Verse 2
If you
would look at me the same
Today
Some changes can be made
never again
will i make a mistake
One last chance
to make everything great

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2 Reply by telemaster17

(3 replies, posted in My local band and me)

pittsburgh pa

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3 Reply by telemaster17

(6 replies, posted in My local band and me)

yea local. both original and cover. i have written a couple songs and i am working on learning to play some songs to cover

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4 Topic by telemaster17

(3 replies, posted in My local band and me)

guitar player here. need a bass player and a drummer. maybe a singer too i can kind of sing.

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5 Reply by telemaster17

(12 replies, posted in My local band and me)

will do

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6 Reply by telemaster17

(12 replies, posted in My local band and me)

no i don't know where point pleasant is. i am 16

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7 Reply by telemaster17

(12 replies, posted in My local band and me)

they are not really my friends. they are kind of my dad's friends and they live near morgantown i think

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8 Reply by telemaster17

(12 replies, posted in My local band and me)

i would like to but i don't think that will be happening. i have friends from WV though

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9 Topic by telemaster17

(11 replies, posted in Songwriting)

Another Day

Another Day
Another Song
If I could only get this right
I try so hard but it never seems
That I can succeed
Sitting here
Thinking there
For hours and hours
If I could change the world
And what it would be
what it would be

Can you see
Can you feel
Would it be wonderful
Would it be hell
Someone please tell me
Who can tell
Finally I think I have it
So hard it’s really been
Just to find the perfect word
To describe my feelings

I need to try
I need to see
What is deep inside of me
If I could run away and hide
To somewhere they could never find
And I know it’ll be alright
i know it'll be alright

Every time I wonder
Every time I try
It gets hard and harder
Just to make it rhyme

I need to try
I need to see
What is deep inside of me
If I could run away and hide
To somewhere they could never find
And I know it’ll be alright
i know it'll be alright

i don't have chords for it yet and i don't know where to put in a solo. also i think some of the lyrics aren't so good. if anyone has any ideas to make it better please let me know

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10 Reply by telemaster17

(6 replies, posted in My local band and me)

also i am 16 years old

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11 Reply by telemaster17

(6 replies, posted in My local band and me)

i am near the mckeesport area. which is also about a half hour from pittsburgh. where are you?

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12 Reply by telemaster17

(6 replies, posted in My local band and me)

i am somewhat of a singer and also a rythm guitarist would be nice to have

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13 Reply by telemaster17

(12 replies, posted in My local band and me)

i'm a guitarist and somewhat of a singer. but i can't help you. i'm in PA

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14 Topic by telemaster17

(6 replies, posted in My local band and me)

i play guitar. i have been playing for a year and a half. anyone who plays bass, drums ?

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