Okay I'm a girl, and a new player well about two years. I would say one take your guitar to a guitar repair shop, and ask them to check the set up. They can do amazing things to your guitar that can make it play easier, and sound better. I just got my ovation back from the shop (I love it). One thing they can do is lower the strings closer to the fret board. It's makes it easier to play.
And just practice, my fingers actually have never really got calluses, they do but not really. But they don't hurt either.
now I actually will find a way to play a song with all barre, once you get it's easy, oh and I know it seem odd but if you can keep your thumb in the middle of the back of the neck it will be easier.