Hey lexy, I thought your song was cool.
One thing about songwriting to remember is that sometimes people take crap words and with the proper melody and delivery have a great/memorable song. Other times they have awesome lyrics and with simple melodies do equally well. And, unfortunately, sometimes you can combine horrible rhymes with repugnant melodies and have smash hits.
But the most important thing is to allow yourself to create an expression of your spirit through music that is meaningful and true. And the second thing is that all of us outsiders will look at it and see opportunities for improvement ("tweaking" or "sanding" some lyrics, chords, style, or delivery). For example, the originator of this thread first posted a song that I thought was brilliant but was not as convinced when I heard his MP3. But a few lyric changes and a different melodic approach I thought could be a hit!!!
And above all, remember we all write songs to connect with ourselves and others on an emotional level and to share thoughts and experiences. So rock on!!! (Hey, sounds way better than saying "Folk On!!!")