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These are great stories!  I don't have anything, but Rebel, you mentioned Ebenezer Baptist church, and it reminded me of a church with a great name I went to once when we were visiting some of my wife's relitives in North Carolina; Bear Swamp Creek Baptist Church---that's a keeper!

It is a hot sunny day, the local saloon bar is filled with the local townspeople, in one corner a game of poker is in progress and in another is a stage with musical instruments upon it. Then the saloon doors open and a figure is silhouetted between them. A hush falls over the room as this man ambles in. He tall, broad of shoulder (possibly a 41" chest) and narrow of hip, slightly bow legged, wearing heeled riding boots with jangling, silver spurs. He has Levi 501's with a denim shirt, a colourful silk bandana at his neck and a Stetson upon his head. Around his waist is a magnificently tooled, silver buckled leather belt with a matching holster on his left holding a bone handled Colt Peacemaker balanced by a large Bowie knife sheathed on his right. His face is deeply tanned and a hand rolled cigarette dangles from the corner of his mouth. He smiles ruefully and breaks the silence with a slowly drawled "Now you all relax and enjoy your drinks. I done come here to entertain you all" as he makes his way to the stage.

Man, Roger, I want to read the rest of the story! This is good!  Put down that guitar and write my friend!

Frank.

OK, I'll embarass myself here....1983 I was the DRUMMER in an air band that won a contest at my college--Miami of Ohio.  We had special effects and everything, which consisted of putting baby powder in balloons and popping them with cigarettes.  Our best number was the live version of "Under my Thumb" by the Stones.  We won $25 which purchased some pretty significant "refreshment" in a college town in '83.

Great topic!  I think music becomes art when it's driven by emotion....that's when it becomes timeless--I think that is so cool about music / art; I can listen to Barber's Adagio for strings and not so much "hear" what other people have heard, but I can "feel" what other people have felt.  I think Clapton played the solo in "while my guitar gentlely weeps", and man, you can feel the emotion in his playing.  I think a big problem with a lot of music today, is that it is so engineered, so technically precise, that the emotion is sqeezed out of it.  I'll take Neil Young playing a raggedy solo on "Keep on Rockin' in a Free World", than  some perfect piece--there's soul in that music.
But how do I play?  I'm transitioning, I think--I usually am so concerned with not messing up, I forget to have fun & make the music mine & just play...but I'm working on it.

man, reading about all your guitars is incredible----
My main acoustic is a Carvin, I also have a Simon Patrick Cedar that has a great tone.
I picked up a cheap electric a few months ago just to putz around on--it's a washburn maverick series.  Good looking guitar but the pick up's are ummmm....shouldn't talk bad about my guitar, so I'll just say they could be better.  Don't think it's worth upgrading so I'll just hold out for my PRS.
Love my Carvin, but a laravee would be nice.....
Saint Anger, a friend of mine just got a T-5 and absolutely loves it--very cool insturments.

You know, I was thinking of having Carmen Diaz as my mistress, so that works out well!! ha!

I love that line, that rock is "blues on crack"!!
"Workin' at the Car Wash Blues"....fun song to play--great lyrics: "you know I should be sittin' in an air conditioned office in a swivel chair, talkin' some trash to my secritary, sayin 'here now mama come on over here'.  Instead I'm stuck here rubbin these fenders with a rag, and walkin' in my soggy ol' shoes, well I got them steadily depressin' low down mind messin' workin' at the car wash blues."

I like scarry movies, but I'm with you Zurf don't know how someone could even conceve the violence in the gore movies, and I don't know how anyone could watch them and consider it entertaining...there are images i just do not want in my head.  I know it's "make believe", but I just don't see how watching someone elses pain, even make believe pain, is fun....just don't get it.

And Halloween is over the top anymore in the states.  Used to be you find some stuff laying around the house, make up a costume and go trick-or-treating...every other kid was a football player, or a hobo becuase that's the stuff you had laying around.  Now it's HUGE business.  Within a one mile radius of my house we had 4 Halloween super-stores.

OK, forgive me for this one, but the best concert I ever saw, hands down, was KISS, the Destroyer tour.  15 feet from the stage....unbelievable. 
My ears haven't stopped ringing.

Even when rookies play my guitar, I think it sounds better than when I play it....I think it has something to do with hearing it from "on top" of the insturment, vs. being out in front.  There may be some validity to that but it could be just an excuse that works for me!  Feel free to use it too.
And I think what you're feeling, is good in a way--it just means you aren't satisfied and want to get better.  I remember just wanting to make it through a song without having to come to a screatching stop between each chord....then I just wanted to be able to actually play along with a recording (thought I'd NEVER be able to do that one), then I wanted to be able to learn barre chords so I didn't have to cheat all the time....it's always something.  Heck, it took me almost 3 years before I took my guitar out of my house!  Just get joy from playing Twist--music is a gift, for your own soul and other people too...believe it or not!