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I've been out and treated myself to an early christmas pressie today. After trying 7 different tele's from a Mexican Blacktop, (not great) to a 52 Hot Rod Reissue, (great but expensive in the UK), I decided on a Classic Player Thinline Deluxe. I so wanted to love the Hot Rod and the tone and sustain on it was amazing but the re-issue neck is just too chunky for me and I've made the mistake in the past of thinking "I'll get used to it" when I bought a Les Paul that 6 months later was sold on eBay. The Thinline, despite being Mexican, is finished beautifully and without too much of a difference in tone between the two humbuckers which the Blacktop had. Set up straight from the factory is excellent and as good as the Hot Rod which was £1000 more expensive! It sits nicely with my Japanese Tele and now gives me all the tones I need so hopefully that's the end of my GAS, he says!

I've now got to move some out, the missus has said that she doesn't want the sitting room looking any more like a guitar shop than it already does so I'm getting rid of my Classic 60's Strat and my Epiphone Wildkat, if anybody on this side of the water is interested let me know.

Jerry

PARAPROSDOKIANS surprising or unexpected; frequently used in a humorous situation." "Where there's a will, I want to be in it," is a type of paraprosdokian. Ok, so now enjoy!

1. Do not argue with an idiot....
He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you....
But it's still on my list.

3. Light travels faster than sound....
This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

4. If I agreed with you ....
we'd both be wrong.

5. We never really grow up ....
we only learn how to act in public.

6. War does not determine who is right ....
only who is left.

7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit....
Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

8. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good Evening,'
and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism....
To steal from many is research.

10. A bus station is where a bus stops....
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station.

11. I thought I wanted a career....
Turns out I just wanted paychecks.

12. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says,
'In case of emergency, notify: I put 'DOCTOR.'

13. I didn't say it was your fault ....
I said I was blaming you.

14. Women will never be equal to men
until they can walk down the street with a bald head
and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

15. Behind every successful man is his woman....
Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

16. A clear conscience ....
is the sign of a fuzzy memory.

17. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way....
So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

18. You do not need a parachute to skydive....
You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

19. Money can't buy happiness ...
but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

20. There's a fine line between cuddling....
and holding someone down so they can't get away.

21. I used to be indecisive....
Now I'm not so sure.

22. You're never too old ....
to learn something stupid.

23. To be sure of hitting the target ....
shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

24. Nostalgia ....
isn't what it used to be.

25. Change is inevitable ....
except from a vending machine.

26. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian ....
any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

27. A diplomat is someone who tells you to go to hell ....
in such a way that you look forward to the trip.

28. Hospitality is making your guests feel at home ....
even when you wish they were.

29. I always take life with a grain of salt....
Plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.

30. When tempted to fight fire with fire ....
remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.