Many thanks to all of you. Do I spoil this and tell the story?
I think with all this positive attention I must give background and its a tale unto its self but ill try not to get too long winded, though hard not to.
I dont know about the rest of you but in a lifetime there will always be that one love that will never leave you and be that ghost that always haunts you - no matter how far you think you have moved on. This is one of those songs, the other that has been posted here also (I think, Ill check and add if not) is called Paper Doll. Both written about the same girl/woman. In short she was 1st truly great love. She was the girl 3 of 5 guys wanted to go out with, She modeled and lots of the guys had seen her in shows at the mall, and I later saw many portfolio shots, she was also about as dangerous a person I could have gotten involved with. Not her herself, but the fact that the person who was to become her husband owned that 38. Before she got married we were in HS. she was dating this ass hat, back then as far as I was concerned, no ring, free game. we both were involved with other partners, but the two of us could not be kept apart.
I was in a Drama production at the time for "THE FANTASTICS" I played the part of Mortimer , So I had a lot of time to goof off. Jessica was there to assist the Pianist and turn pages. Mrs. Pankow was our English teacher (who went on to better things after teaching http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0659600/) I was one of Jo Anns pets (good grades and not having to work real hard;) ) So was Jess. But I digress,
Well as it went I was , at the time so overwhelmed I didnt talk to her for a few days, she just made the words stick in my mouth. (I also was dating someone else at the time)
Jo actually was the one who told me one day I needed to talk to her, she could see it. On that advice, after practice one day I built the courage to talk to her in the breeseway. As I was doing it, her then boyfriend pulled up (he was older probably 20ish) So all I managed was a few introductory words.
A few days later we jsut hung out during pratice , ice broken and all, I asked her if I could give her a ride home. even though I mentioned her boyfriend, she said he lives (elsewhere) and wanted to ask me in for dinner. I met her dad, we spent some magic alone time in the barn(no just nice pg stuff guys) Dad then called out that Mark was on the phone. -This is where it gets dicey, and quite honestly the part of the puzzle I have NEVER figured out. long story condenced, lets say this girl and me spent many secret weekends together (my gf and her fiancee not knowing), lets jump in time to play ends, Jessica moves out of town, summer, new school yr (Sr year) Im in a good mood walking down the hall first day, Till this girl runs up to me, gives hug, and says "Did you hear Jessica got married this summer?' I spent the rest of the day in a haze, some of which was herbaly enhanced, an for the next few weeks. I cant remember when i t was that year, but I am now trying to move ahead and dating a new person, I get home from work that evening and mom says "Jessica called, she is at her moms house, here is the number." - Mom and I have always been close and she then looked at me and said "Are you sure you want to make this call?" Idont think it was a half second thought, I was in and out of the shower and killing my poor little Chevy Citation to get to her moms place. I was greeted extra warm,, and then I did what then was the hardest thing ever. I told her "we cant, you got married" -- OK this plays like a bad soap but its for real-- I got the Im not happy lines, I hugged her and said call me if he goes away and I left. FF another school year and graduation. Another summer job, party's music, all is right, Then Yes, I get a phone call. "I left him, we are separated".. That was all I needed, I never asked to see leagle documents nothing. I was on top of the world, Then that one night (from which the song comes from) , she was in her town, I was in mine, Hanging out with my buddy and drinking and smoking way too much. I get a weird call from her (she knew my flight patterns and had the numbers to find me). After that call I was a mess, Bob and his sister could not keep me from leaving, got in my car, drove 2 hours to her town, and that last verse says it. (I knock on the door at 3 AM and a guy answers and I still have the balls to ask for Jessica. "Who the F are you?" then I hear crashes and yelling. I know the guy packs, I hit the steps and to the car, he was out on that porch pointing that thing right at me. Hyper vision saw nothing but a big honking barrel , pop the clutch and haul donkeys! --- the next week she showed up at her moms with bruises and not great. Gave me some excuse abut him being there to see their son (oh yea that happened also). sounded thin, but at 19 it was enough for me. The last time I saw her, Was after work on night (I was a bellman ant a hotel) She waited in the lobby for me, then we went for a drive up the Blue-ridge parkway. we made love in the front seat (God it was like that movie High Fidelity after the girls father dies). We went back to the hotel (we were in her car), she dropped me off and drove away. I walked in and asked the cop on duty for a big favor. I asked him to run her plates. It was registered to her husband. I had been told it was her photographers. Have never seen or heard from her again.
Essentially leaving out some other details, thats it, Probably one of the "Better like this than any other way", the one story you never know the ending to. I only hope she is not dead. I also have a feeling had we been married, I would have come home from sea to find another man in my bed. you can never know. I also know that for many years I had all kinds of crazy dreams about finding her, and being trapped by his family and movie type stuff.
The crazy ones provide the most stuff for writing.
but you need a new nut if you are going to do this, I would keep my original one in case I would want to go back to a regular set-up. Get a new one that you can file and play with.