651

(7 replies, posted in Songwriting)

Having gone through a marriage break up I know the story well. You've written this song as if you have knowledge of it. You have made one error, my friend, though I can say I almost hated my ex by the time I left (and still do! ) I still cried at the thought I was leaving something I'd invested in and my two son's which I wasn't allowed to see. Then I met my soul mate Ann, and we celebrate 40 years in May.
Thanks for bringing up a part of my life I'd rather forget but you did it so well that I forgive you...lol     

652

(18 replies, posted in Chordie's Chat Corner)

So sorry to hear your sad news Zurf, need I say you have many friends here on Chordie.

Also Mojo, please accept my sympathies to you both     

653

(25 replies, posted in Chordie's Chat Corner)

Brilliant, if anyone wants a good laugh i recommend this song     

654

(25 replies, posted in Chordie's Chat Corner)

Imagine if sheep went extinct? What would Australian men do for fun...sheer each other maybe?

We've never had supermarket deliveries, I like to choose what foodstuffs come to my larder. I too hate shopping , but it has to be done! I wrote a song about sitting outside the shops for Ann while the traffic warden was getting ready to write me a ticket, true story!
As for lab animals, maybe they could Jurassic park some whales so the Japanese won't need to hunt them for "scientific purposes"?
I believe the poles are melting due to polar bears in the north and penguins in the south peeing on the ice causing it to melt?     

655

(25 replies, posted in Chordie's Chat Corner)

Hi Brian. The weak minded will always follow the latest trends...remember hipster trousers? I still have bad feet after winkle picker shoes! We had a big thing a couple of years back concerning GM foods, that has gone quiet so we're probably eating it without our knowledge! Still, this third arm comes in very handy at times...lol

(I had to chuck the joke in as this thread is getting very serious)     

656

(25 replies, posted in Chordie's Chat Corner)

easybeat wrote:

great conversation
have you heard Macdonalds are not using cardboard anymore
they are using meat!!

What! real meat?
Now if the veggies get their way we'll all have to stop eating meat to halt global warming! So in a hundred years time all the cows, sheep chickens and any game animals will have become extinct because we cant eat them as they are causing the methane that is destroying the ozone layer, and if we cant eat them what is the point of farming them?

No point to living;
1. cars will run on electric, no emissions, no fossil fuels= clean air
2. no refineries or heavy industry = no pollution
3. no meat products, farms will only grow crops = no need for farm animals
4. resulting in no jobs, cant afford to buy an electric car so no mobility unless you're a farmer or working in the financial industry
the good news, we'll be able to breath and our cities will remain on dry land     

657

(25 replies, posted in Chordie's Chat Corner)

Zurf wrote:
Phill Williams wrote:

Fudge stripes? nope never heard of them Zurf. Pickled eggs and pig trotters (feet) are also consumed this side of the pond along with cockles (sourced locally) lava bread (seaweed)  cawl, and of course Welsh curry , then you will need reinforced seat belts as you may become rocket fueled...lol

I don't favor the pickled pigs feet myself, but I much prefer the term "trotters" for them.

I have no idea what a cockle is. Is it a rooster with a hard shell?

Not sure what cawl is, but I suspect it's something different than here, as here it refers to a placenta. I would hope you're not eating those in pubs.

I do like curry, but I prefer it made with goat or seafood rather than Welsh. They put up too much of a fight and then they sing you a song about it.

Cockles are a small shellfish which are in great abundance here as is lavabread or seaweed, my father loved cockles with lavabread and bacon for breakfast! I prefer my bacon in a full English, yum yum.

Cawl is a kind of soup traditionally made with lamb, potatoes and various veg all boiled together in a big crochan or pot in English.

Welsh curry is not made from Welshmen but if it was it would taste great and sing sweetly to the sound of a Welsh harp! One side of my extended family are from India and they love their goat curry. I prefer chicken madras myself     

658

(25 replies, posted in Chordie's Chat Corner)

Mojo, those are but a few of the mysteries of the universe. Here's another...why pour boiling water into a chocolate tea pot? My mother used to tell me "you come home dead and I'll kill you" it's a Welsh thing, she didn't mean it. As McCartney said "put it here if it weighs a ton".
And finally...why blame and tax the poor for the inventions that made the rich richer? Eg the motor car!     

659

(25 replies, posted in Chordie's Chat Corner)

easybeat wrote:

I cut the pointy end off chocolate digestives and then plug it in the seat belt.

I often cut the pointy end off chocolate eggs! Then suck out the creme inside. Well done Brian you made me laugh out loud on a cold, wet,depressing windy day.     

660

(25 replies, posted in Chordie's Chat Corner)

Shwmae Pete. We have chocolate thins too but they're not as satisfying! It's like "this is chicken flavoured tofu that tastes like wet cardboard!" Why have something that's meant to taste like something else? Trying to fool your senses into thinking you're eating the real thing? Die fat and happy...that's what I say!     

661

(25 replies, posted in Chordie's Chat Corner)

Fudge stripes? nope never heard of them Zurf. Pickled eggs and pig trotters (feet) are also consumed this side of the pond along with cockles (sourced locally) lava bread (seaweed)  cawl, and of course Welsh curry , then you will need reinforced seat belts as you may become rocket fueled...lol     

662

(25 replies, posted in Chordie's Chat Corner)

Jim, it's got to be chocolate side up just in case the chocolate breaks off and hits the floor.     

663

(25 replies, posted in Chordie's Chat Corner)

Hi Grah, hope you're well?

Why break them in half? When I get up I eat 2 bananas while I check my emails and Chordie. That done I get 2 mcvities chocolate digestives and a cheeselet and make a sandwich choc side in, milk obligatory! delish!     

664

(25 replies, posted in Chordie's Chat Corner)

In the UK we have whats called "chocolate digestive biscuits" and they happen to be one of my favourites. They are a circular biscuit with chocolate on one side only.

Now I don't know if these are available anywhere else in the world but if they are I have a question for you;
When eating a chocolate digestive (or similar) do you hold the biscuit chocolate side up or chocolate side down? This is important (to me) just as important as the argument about which side of a boiled egg you cut, pointy end or the thick end? Do you plug your seat belt in before or after starting the engine? the list goes on... 

665

(4 replies, posted in My local band and me)

really soulful Pete almost blues-y, suits your voice. I can almost see the sailors hoisting the mainsail while singing this song. Nice bit of a history lesson too, thanks for that. Hey-ho and up she rises or whatever that would be in the south sea languages?     

666

(23 replies, posted in Poems)

Hi Jim. I read Pete's poem and I thought I'd try and write something "on the fly" as Pete did. It came out from the perspective of the lady. I'd forgotten the title of the thread and we'd taken a tangent from the theme. Once I had the first line the rest flowed. I had no idea where it was heading but I think it came out well? Maybe it was because of some events from my performing past? Speak no more of it I cannot!     

667

(23 replies, posted in Poems)

Pete, I was about half way down your poem with a mouthful of custard when I read that line, and I'm afraid I made a mess on my screen with yellow mattered custard conforming to the laws of gravity and pooling on my desk and (hopefully) plucking the strings of invention, here goes;

her eyes were somewhat cloudy
and just like the stars her teeth came out at night
her underwear was always ironed to perfection
and only rarely did they see her passions flight
she sat amongst her widowed friends
drinking slowly to make their pension last
but tonight emboldened by the artistes smile
the G&T kept sinking fast.
ambition quarreled with her pride
her cheeks were all aglow
this strangers smile and lustful glance
took her back to teenage years once more.
soon the show was over
the artist said "goodnight"
younger women crowded round
she knew she'd have a fight.
hair and claws and screams and slaps
her age and knowledge won the day
she looked around for her spoils of war
but the swine had run away.     

668

(23 replies, posted in Poems)

Peatle Jville wrote:
Phill Williams wrote:

Morcomb and Wise had a joke that went something like; two old men on the beach one says "nice out ain't it?" The other replies "well put it away people are looking!"
Moral...I'd be worried if people laughed at my "funny" bits...lololol

Yea, got that out of my system. When I played gigs I used to love it when people danced or sang along, laughed when I cracked a joke or clapped when I finished a song...aaahhh the good old days!

Before anyone says it...I never got pelted with rotten fruit

Good one Phill your post  got my imagination going.  A picture appeared in my head of an audience of little old ladies with their theatre binoculars trying to see my funny bits.

All equipped with peashooters loaded with Viagra pills no doubt?     

669

(23 replies, posted in Poems)

Morcomb and Wise had a joke that went something like; two old men on the beach one says "nice out ain't it?" The other replies "well put it away people are looking!"
Moral...I'd be worried if people laughed at my "funny" bits...lololol

Yea, got that out of my system. When I played gigs I used to love it when people danced or sang along, laughed when I cracked a joke or clapped when I finished a song...aaahhh the good old days!

Before anyone says it...I never got pelted with rotten fruit     

670

(1 replies, posted in About Chordie)

You must be desperate posting the same question 5 times. Same answer....no     

671

(6 replies, posted in Songwriting)

A great lesson for these Covid times Jim. There's been a lot of stuff on the news about relationships that can't withstand the pressures of close proximity 24/7.  It's also a life lesson for us retirees suddenly thrust together after 50 years of only seeing your loved one a few hours a day.
You capture it superbly as usual.     

672

(6 replies, posted in My local band and me)

Hysterical! It's early morning and that's started my day perfectly. Reminds me of Johnny Cash singing that song about the Cadillac, same sort of style not tune or content. Loved the Sesamy street rap and harmonica and the guitar and vocal are exceptional. Thanks for posting.     

673

(23 replies, posted in Poems)

Pete, you could catch a moment in your palm and make it interesting and significant. I only saw about 18 seconds of Brians recital and the ovation he received and I believe you would be honoured likewise if you took part in one of these gigs.
Congrats to you both, I'm proud to say I am your friend. I am you friend ...right?     

674

(5 replies, posted in Songwriting)

BEARS, WILD HOGS, WOLVES AND FERAL DOGS? give me a ghost anytime     

675

(5 replies, posted in Songwriting)

Nice one Ed, makes more sense than mine. I've never been afraid of the dark or the countryside. The scariest 10 minutes of my life was walking across a field of cows in the pitch black of night. I think I was more afraid of walking in a message left by a thoughtful Frisian!

Just listened to your recording ( neat guitar solo) really good. Thanks for sharing.