Very cleverly written Grah. I caught many of the references but not all I fear? Don't worry about your voice the husky sound adds a little more character..lol     

Pete, I never knew that banter and off music topic was not allowed? There's been lots of posts in "chat" regarding fishing kayaking sports etc. My opinion on that is; if you don't have an opinion or are not interested go to the next post or begin your own thread with a topic that interests you!
Ann tells me she comes third after music and my grandkids, I can't argue that!
I don't bother with other sites. I can't be doing with trolls and the like. I am on Twitter but rarely go there. I've always tried to be friendly and helpful to all our members and thought everyone else was too?
The forums are for our members to ask questions, get help, give opinions and most of all help others.     

Great job on the video Jim.     

Pete...you're a crazy kid. This sounds like those old blues tracks from the 30s. Does anyone else have the guts to record themselves making words and music up as they go along? Now that's a challenge     

Hi Sana and welcome. I've been a performer for nigh on fifty years, deduct a year for lock down. At the moment I'm in two minds whether to get back in the saddle when all this is over, I'll be 70 soon and I've put on a lot of beer belly so I'm dubious as to whether carrying speakers and amps in and out of venues is still possible.
Tell us a bit about yourself; are you a writer, performer, musician? and not to be too nosy, what your abilities and disabilities are, how we can help and how you can help us.
Phill     

Jim. Just tried to play it on SoundCloud, the picture is there but no music. I know you've just up loaded it so maybe it's still processing, I'll try again later.

BTW, it was a pleasure doing this one.     

Jim to me you are the inventor and I, and many others are the people that create the mechanics to make it work. So don't belittle yourself either, you are a genius in what you do     

Jim. I had to look up the open Dbm, and realized it can also be known as Amajor 7 which means you can play the open A string and having played it through a couple of times I revised your chord sequence from A- Dbm/Amaj7- D-A, to; A-Amj7-D-F#m | A-Amaj7-D-G. etc It breaks up the sequence and makes it a little more interesting? Hope you don't mind me sticking my nose in?

Jimand your chorus

I've put your Dbm as Amj7  same chord, same position but you can play the open A string as your bass note     

Brian.

I understand first night nerves
After a while they turn to apprehension
Expectant faces saying "come on entertain me"
So you take a deep breath, picture them all naked
Your mouth goes dry, it's now or never
Cough, a bluff you take a sip of beer
Now your first words come out loud and clear
Heckle me, I dare you!
You've got them and they're quiet
Till you reach the end then they erupt with cheers
They stand. They clap
They slap you on the back
Then you realise...I must have got something
But keep your feet on the ground
When you get home
As you close the front door
She who must be obeyed says
Get the kettle on I'm dieing for a cup of tea
Your not John Lennon yet!

My UK sense of humour doesn't cross the Atlantic very well, does it? Like the Titanic it sank half way     

Shwmae Pete? ( your name in Welsh would be Pedr)

I never thought of the Billy Connelly connection but I must admit it began with the first line leading to a song full of double entondres but I couldn't keep it up, pun intended. I then thought, as you did of my old school mates and meeting up 50 years later all we had in common was friends that had died! The last verse was a statement of fact, as we get older we do tend to meet girls or boys, and we drift away from them and only meet up or correspond occasionally!
So I guess it's funny yet sad