To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last.
> Date: 2009-05-27, 1:43 a.m. E.S.T.
> I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you
> demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled
> the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our
> lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and
> earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across
> this rather important message.
> >
> First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't
> expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew
> my pistol after you took my jacket. The evening was
> not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a
> reason. My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber
> Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had
> picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening.
> Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating
> weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't it?!
> >
>
> I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever
> you'd come from with that brown sludge in your pants.
> I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I
> made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with
> me. That prevented you from calling or running to
>
> your buddies to come help mug us again.
> >
> After I called your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed
> in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what
> you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as
> well as those of four other people in the gas station,
> -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor
> home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful!
> >
> I gave your shoes to a homeless guy
> outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the
> cash in your wallet. That made his day!
> >
> I then threw your wallet into the
> big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ...
> after I broke the windshield and side window and
> keyed the entire driver's side of the car.
> > 0
> Later, I called a bunch of phone sex
> numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down
> the line, although I only used the phone for a little
> over a day now, so what 's going on with that?
> Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to
> the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning
> President Obama as my possible target.
> >
> The FBI guy seemed really intense and
> we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced
> your number etc.).
> >
> In a way, perhaps I should apologize
> for not killing you ... but I feel this type of
> retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your
> threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort
> through some of these rather immediate pressing issues,
> and can only hope that you have the opportunity to
> reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career
> path you've chosen to pursue in life. Remember, next
> time you might not be so lucky.
> Have a good day!
> >
> >
> ThoughtfullyC2 yours,
> Alex
Johnny B good is still one of the best songs to Jive to. in my opinion.
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