Hi Stephen,
Definitely an improvement on your first recording but I have to agree with Helena about the intro. To me it did not even belong with the song and I felt it would be improved without it as is as both volume and style it is so radical from the rest. However with careful mixing, perhaps it could be blended in better.
I always listen to music from my PC through headphones and I suggest thst you do too for mixing as you can hear so much clearer to get the panning and balance right.
Keep at it we all get better the more we do and the more we experiment with.
Roger
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