IWIWAL Loudon Wainwright III
(Spoken)
OK, so I'm riding around in this car with this woman that I'm close to a couple times a
week. And I'm noticing she's looking out of the window and noticing other women, how
this one looks,Isn't her hair lovely? What a nice outfit...
I said, Babe, what is the DEAL? You're noticing all these other chicks... maybe...
you're a lesbian.
She looks at me and she says,I wish I was a lesbian.
Now, at that point I wanted to say, You mean 'you wish you were a lesbian' because,
grammatically... But I let it slide. I didn't wanna ruffle any feathers.
But, ya know, that sentence, that retort, "I wish I was a lesbian"...kinda stuck in the
ole Laud-o's mind. kinda gestated there for seven, eight minutes then this tune popped out...
[G]
G------
I wish I was a lesbian and not a hetero
[G]I wouldn't have to mess with men and [D]all their come-and-go
[G]And all that awful facial hair and yu[D]cky "ma-chis-mo"
[C]Ooooooo, I w[G--]ish I was a lesbian and not a hetero
[G]I wish I was a lesbian and t[C]hat I wasn't straight
[G]I would sleep with women only; ma[D]n, that would be great
[G]I could throw away my diaphragm; I wouldn't w[D]anna mate
[C]Ooooooo, I [G--]wish I was a lesbian and that I wasn't straight
HEY!
[G]I wish I was a lesbian; I'd like to be a dyke
[G]I would hang with k.d. lang; Mel [D]Gibson, take a hike
[G]I think it would be nice to love someone who was a[C]like
[C]Ooooooo, I w[G]ish I was a lesbian; I'd like to be a dyke
[G]I wish I was a lesbian; that's why this[D] song is sung
[G]It shouldn't have to matter how so[D]meone is hung
[G]Other things are more important...LI[C]KE HOW TO USE YOR
[C]TOUNGE...bablblblb
[G]I wish I was a lesbian; that's why this song is sung
D (etc... to the end)
HEEEEEEY!
I dare Casey Kasem to play this
I wish I was a lesbian; I know it's sad, but true
But maybe I might understand you guys and all you do
But if I was a lesbian, I WOULDN'T HAVE TO
I wish I was a lesbian; I know it's sad, but true
Hey, I wish I was a lesbian and not a hetero
I wouldn't have to mess with men and all their come-and-go
And all that awful facial hair and yucky "ma-chis-mo" (I hate that damned machismo!)
Ooooooo, I wish I was a lesbian and not a hetero
I wish I was a lesbian and not a hetero
I wish I was a lesbian and not a hetero!
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