Them’s the Vagaries Half Man Half Biscuit
[A]You may have to rescue me from [E]limestone quarries frequently
Those [D]corporate stunt shows you attend - you'll [A]never get asked [E]back again.
Say, [A]hello spinal curvature [E]get used to the mirthless furniture
[D]Now we've kissed I've written this list I [A]thought you ought to [E]know.
[A]Them's the vagaries, them's the vagaries, [E]them's the vagaries
Them's the vagaries, [D]them's the vagaries, them's the vaga[A]ries[E].
Well I'll [A]not sit backwards on the train
I can't [E]say I'll always flush the chain
And what [D]I call pleasure you may call pain -[A] I'm talking five day [E]tests.
[A]Prepare to lose your dignity [E]as I ride to victory
[D]Down the aisles at Tesco wearing [A]nothing much at [E]all.
[Bb]Ancient pack horse [Gm]bridges we'll a[C]void[D]
[Eb]Marajuana [Cm]bores must be destro[D]yed.
[A]Bin men, thin men, lexicographers, [E]squid yes not so octopus
[D]Egg sandwiches on coach trips in June - [A]I simply won't be [E]there.
[A]No way joke shop excrement, [E]don't say the lightshow's excellent
[D]It makes you smell of the laboratory instead of a[A] fan of the [E]band.
[A]Them's the vagaries, them's the vagaries, [E]them's the vagaries
Them's the vagaries, [D]them's the vagaries, them's the vaga[A]ries.[E]
Oh [A]Brit Pop, turquoise, chips with apricot
[E]Sheepskin noseband, kids in Aldershot
[D]You point to finches in my yard and you ask [A]"what's them things [E]there?"
[A]Them's the aviaries, them's the aviaries, [E]them's the aviaries
Them's the aviaries [D]and I've been saving these things just for [A]you[E]
For [A]you, [E] for [A]you,[E] for [A]you.[E] [A]
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