Stuart The Dead Milkmen
The original tabs to this song, I noticed, had some minor errors on it. I transcribed
the song myself, I think these are the correct tabs.
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You know what, Stuart, I LIKE YOU. You're not like the other
people, here,
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in the trailer park. Oh, don't go get me wrong. They're fine people, they're
good Americans.
But they're [F]content to sit [D]back, maybe
[F]watch a little Mork and [E]Mindy on channel [F]57[D], maybe [F]kick
back a cool, Coors [E]16-[F]ouncer. [D]They're good, [F]fine people,
[E]Stuart. [F]But they don't [D]know ... [F]what the queers are doing
to the [C]soil!
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You know that Jonny Wurster kid, the kid that delivers papers
in the neighborhood. He's a foreign kid.
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Some of the neighbors say he smokes crack, but I don't believe it.
Anyway, for his tenth birthday, all he wanted was a Burrow Owl.
[F]Kept bugging his [D]old man. "Dad, [F]get me a burrow [E]owl. [F]I'll [D]never
ask for anything [F]else as long as I [E]live." So the[F] guy
breaks [D]down and [F]buys him a [E]burrow owl.
Anyway, [F]10:[D]30, the other night, [F]I go out in my yard, and there's
the [C]Wurster kid, looking up in the tree. I say, "What are
you looking for?" He says "I'm looking for my [G#]burrow owl."
[A#]I say, "Jumping [D#]Jesus on a [G#]Pogo Stick. [D#]Everybody knows
the [G#]burrow owl lives. In a [D#]hole. In the ground. [G#]Why the hell do you
think they call it a burrow owl, [D#]anyway?" Now [A#]Stuart, do you
think a kid like that is going to know what the
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queers are doing to the soil? I first became aware of this about ten years ago,
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the summer my oldest boy, Bill Jr. died. You know that carnival comes into
town every year? Well this year they came through with a ride
called The Mixer.
The [F]man [D]said, "Keep your [F]head, and [E]arms, [F]inside
the [D]Mixer at all times." But [F]Bill [E]Jr, he was a [F]DAAARE[D]DEVIL, [F]just
like his [E]old man. He was [F]leaning [D]out saying [F]"Hey everybody,
Look at me! Look at me!" Pow! He was de[C]capitated! They found
his head over by the [G#]snow [A#]cone concession[D#].
A few days after that, I [G#]open up the mail. And there's a [D#]pamphlet
in there. From [G#]Pueblo, Colorado, and it's [D#]addressed to Bill, Jr.
And [G#]it's entitled, [D#]"Do you know what the queers are [A#]doing to our
soil?"
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Now, Stuart, if you look at the soil around any large US city,
there's a big undeground homosexual population.
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Des Moines, Iowa, for an example. Look at the soil around Des Moines, Stuart.
You can't build on it; you can't grow anything in it. The government
[F]says it's [D]due to poor [F]farming[E]. But I know what's [F]really going on,
[E]Stuart. I know it's the queers. They're in it with the aliens.
They're building landing strips for [F]gay [D]Martians, [F]I swear to
God.
You know what, Stuart, [C]I like you. You're not like the other
people, [F]here in this trailer park.
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