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Half a Man  Stephen Lynch

This song is really simple
Capo on 3rd fret
[E] [G] [D] [C]  
 
 E|-0----3----2----0-|
 B|-0----0----3----1-|
 G|-1----0----2----0-|
 D|-2----0----0----2-|
 A|-2----2----X----3-|
 E|-0----3----X----X-|

Verse 1:
All my [E]days,
I [G]live with [D]my disg[E]race
I'm [G]afraid to [D]show my [E]face
Or at l[G]east take [D]off my [C]underwear...
See I was [E]born
Like a [G]half way [D]neutered [E]pet
I don?t [G]have a [D]matching [E]set
It?s a [G]part of [D]me
That [C]just aint there
Please, don?t stare
Chorus
Well I?m a [E]gambling man with[G] out two dice
I?m like [E]Uncle Ben with only one [G]grain of rice
Oh to [E]have two testis would [G]be so nice
But I?m h[D]alf [C]a ma[E]n
Yeah, I?m [D]half [C]a man[E]
Verse2
Wanna [E]die
end it a[G]ll, just [D]call it [E]quits
I can?t [G]find a [D]cup that [E]fits
And at [G]baseball [D]games I [C]feel so dumb
When I [C]hear ?ball one?
Oh, my [E]God
How could [G]you have [D]been so [E]cruel
To give [G]me one [D]family [E]jewel
And the [G]one that?s [D]there must [C]feel so sad
He?s a [C]lonely nad
Chorus 2
Well I?m a [E]marathon runner with [G]just one leg
I?m a [E]fallopian tube with j[G]ust one egg
Oh, I [E]want another testi
Do I [G]have to beg?
I?m [D]half [C]a [E]man
Yeah, im [D]half [C]a [E]man
Bridge
E..G...E...G...E...G...D...C
kinda like chorus
Chorus 3
Well I?m a [E]tweedle dee with no tweedle d[G]um
And I?m a [E]Siskel and an Ebert with just one [G]thumb
And I?m a [E]Yo Ho Ho with no bottle of [G]rum
I?m just [D]half [C]a m[E]an
Yeah, I?m [D]half [C]a m[E]an

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