Crime Dramas Suck Hank Green
This is exactly how Hank plays it. It's pretty simple.
Intro: C G C G C
Verse 1:
There's a [C]place where you don't w[G]anna be
Where p[C]eople die c[G]onstantly
And they n[C]ever die in n[G]ormal ways
It's prep[C]osterous but s[G]till cliche
Bridge 1:
When your [C]drug dealer's aunt kills your m[G]om in a duel
C NC
By chopping off her head with a scythe in a pool
Well the[D]y're not saying it makes sense
They're [E]just interpreting the evidence
Chorus:
This is the p[C]lot to every tel[G]evision crime show
[C] From CSI to Columbo [C]and I think you know what's in st[G]ore
The [C]guy we met in the f[G]irst fifteen minutes
C NC
Will come back because you know he did it
[C]I don't think they're trying any[G]more
And I'm getting b[C]ored
Verse 2:
[C]There was semen all over [G]the crime scene
So they use[C] the super-fancy semen [G]testing machine
And the [C]DNA database g[G]ets a hit
But it l[C]ooks like he might still [G]get away with it
Bridge 2:
But the f[C]inal piece of ev[G]idence
[C]Totally stumps the b[C]ad guy's defense
And [D]he breaks down in front of everyone
And [E]tells them exactly how it was done
Chorus:
This is the p[C]lot to every tel[G]evision crime show
[C] From CSI to Columbo [C]and I think you know what's in st[G]ore
The [C]guy we met in the f[G]irst fifteen minutes
C NC
Will come back because you know he did it
[C]I don't think they're trying any[G]more
And I'm getting b[C]ored
Interlude: C
Verse 3:
By the m[C]iddle of the[G] first season
[C]Murder is eclipsed by se[G]xual tension
And I gu[C]ess that probably happ[G]ens a lot
Since cr[C]ime-solving people are alw[G]ays so hot
Bridge 3:
But then a [C]serial killer ki[G]dnaps the girl
And they pr[C]omise to save her if it co[C]sts them the world
And they fi[D]nd her two seconds before she dies
And they hu[E]g and they laugh and they screw and they cry
Chorus:
This is the p[C]lot to every tel[G]evision crime show
[C] From CSI to Columbo [C]and I think you know what's in st[G]ore
The [C]guy we met in the f[G]irst fifteen minutes
C NC
Will come back because you know he did it
[C]I don't think they're trying any[G]more
And I'm getting b[C]ored
*End on C*
That was a one-taker... take one-r... one... one-i-fier...
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