All I Want for Christmas Is a Dukla Prague Away Kit Half Man Half Biscuit
(Intro Bb Eb Bb Eb)
There was [Bb]one in the gang who [Eb]had Scalextric
And be[Bb]cause of that he thought he was [Eb]better than you
Every [Bb]day after school you?d [Eb]go round there to play it
[Bb]Hoping to compete for [Eb]some kind of championship
But it [Bb]always took about fifteen billion [Eb]hours to set the track up
And [Bb]even when you did the [Eb]thing never seemed to work[Bb] [Eb] [Bb] [Eb]
It was a [Bb]dodgy transformer a[Eb]gain and again
A [Bb]dodgy transformer a[Eb]gain and again
It was a [Bb]dodgy transformer a[Eb]gain and again
A [Bb]dodgy transformer that [Eb]cost three pound ten[Bb] [Eb] [Bb] [Eb]
So he?d [Bb]send his doting mother up the [Eb]stairs with the stepladders
To [Bb]get the Subbuteo [Eb]out of the loft
He [Bb]had all the accessories re[Eb]quired for that big match atmosphere
The [Bb]crowd and the dugout and the [Eb]floodlights too
You?d [Bb]always get palmed off with a [Eb]headless centre forward
And a [Bb]goalkeeper with no arms and a [Eb]face like his[Bb] [Eb] [Bb] [Eb]
And he?d [Bb]managed to get hold of a [Eb]Dukla Prague away kit
Cos his [Bb]uncle owned a sports shop and he?d [Eb]kept it to one side
And after [Bb]only five minutes you?d be [Eb]down to ten men
Cos he?d [Bb]sent off your right back for taking the [Eb]base from under his left winger
And [Bb]come to half time you were [Eb]losing four-nil
[Bb]Each and every goal a [Eb]hotly disputed penalty
So you?d [Bb]smash up the floodlights and the [Eb]match was abandoned
And the [Bb]dog would bark and you?d be [Eb]banned from his house
And your [Bb]travelling army of syn[Eb]thetic supporters
Would be [Bb]taken away from you and [Eb]thrown in the bin[Bb] [Eb] [Bb] [Eb]
Now he?s [Bb]working in a [Eb]job with a future
He [Bb]hands me my Giro [Eb]every two weeks
And [Bb]me I?m on the lookout for a [Eb]proper transformer ?errr
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