Lord Hereford's Knob Half Man Half Biscuit
As [E]I camped out one evening to [B]take the midnight [E]air
I heard a maiden grieving from [A]somewhere over [B]there
Who [A]is it you are [E]mourning; for [A]whom do you wear [E]grey?
She [A]said I pine for [E]no one - I [F#]just can't pay my [B7]way.
Ever [A]since the chattering [E]classes in[B]vaded Hebden [E]Bridge
And [A]priced the likes of [E]me and mine to the [F#]pots of the Pennine [B]Ridge
To [A]South East Wales I was [E]forced to flee and [A]now I have no [E]job
That's why tonight I'm [A]sitting on [B7]top of Lord Hereford's [E]Knob.
For you I'd waive expenses to [B]try and help you [E]out
For your beauty influences the [A]landscape herea[B]bouts
Look [A]up my betrothed at [E]Three Cocks; be [A]sure she'll see you [E]right
While [A]I go up to [E]Yorkshire and [F#]there avenge your [B7]plight.
Soon [A]reports were filtering [E]through to me the [B]pair were drowning in [E]bliss
I [A]can't recall having [E]ever been cuc[F#]kolded quite like [B]this
I [A]gave up hope ir[E]onically for Lent,[A]
Come [E]see me living in a [A]bivvie if [B7]you're ever up Pen-Y-[E]Ghent.
Although upon reflection I've [B]been a trifle [E]green
I still think with affection on [A]everything that's [B]been
So pre[A]pare that fatted [E]calf and [A]string up the bunting [E]gay
Your [A]brisk and bonny [E]ploughboy is [F#]coming home to[B7]day.
And to[E]night he'll be sitting on [B]top of Lord Hereford's [E]Knob.[B7]
To[E]night he'll be sitting on [B]top of Lord Hereford's [E]Knob.[B7]
On [E]touching the trig point [B]I found my thrill
To the [E]east Brokeback Mountain, to the [B]west Benny Hill
I'll [E]give you the grid ref - you [B]might like to go:
[E]SO2 2[B]4350.
[E]Could this be heaven, would [B]that be the Severn?
[E]Twampa, Twampa, you're [B]gonna need a jumper,
It [E]gets a bit chilly on [B]top of Lord Hereford's [E]Knob.[B7]
To[E]night he'll be sitting on [B]top of Lord Hereford's [E]Knob.
[B7]All of our songs sound the [E]same;
Tonight he'll be sitting on [B7]top of Lord Hereford's [E]Knob.
I'm [B7]keeping two chevrons a[E]part;
Tonight he'll be sitting on [B7]top of Lord Hereford's [E]Knob.
You're the [B7]reason why paradise [E]lost;
Tonight he'll be sitting on [B7]top of Lord Hereford's [E]Knob.
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