The Man Who Couldn't Cry Loudon Wainwright III
The Man Who Couldn't Cry
L. Wainwright III
NOTE: This is not the original version that appears on "Attempted Mustache."
This key may be different, though the chord progression should be the same.
INTRO: A G D A
[A]Once was a man [G]who just couldn't cry
[D]He hadn't cried for years and for [A]years
Napalmed babies [G]or the movie love story
[D]For instance could not produce [A]tears
[E]As a child he had [D]cried as all children [A]will
[G]But at some point his tear ducts ran [A]dry
He grew to be a man, [G]the feces hit the fan
[D]Things got bad but he couldn't [A]cry
His dog was run over, his wife up and left him
After that he got sacked from his job
He lost his arm in the war, laughed at by a w***e
Yeah but still not a sniffle or sob
His novel was refused, ah his movie was panned
And his big Broadway show, ha, was a flop
He was sent off to jail, yeah you guessed it, no bail
Ah but still not a dribble or a drop
In jail he was beaten, bullied and buggered
Made to make license plates
Water and bread was all he was fed
And not once did a tear stain his face
Doctors were called in, scientists too
Theologians were last and practically least
They all agreed sure enough, this was sure no cream puff
But in fact an insensitive beast
SOLO
He was removed from jail, placed in a place
For the insensitive and the insane
He played lots of chess, made lots of friends
And he wept every time it would rain
Well once it rained forty days and it rained forty nights
And he cried and he cried and he cried and he cried and he cried and he cried
On the forty-first day, he passed away
He just dehydrated and died
Well he went up to Heaven, located his dog
Not only that, he rejoined his arm
Down below all the critics, they took it all back
Cancer robbed the w***e of her charm
His ex-wife died of stretch marks, his ex-employer went broke
The theologians were finally found out
Ah right down to the ground, the prison burned down yeah
The earth suffered perpetual drought
SOLO out
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