The Bane of Constance Half Man Half Biscuit
(intro) A D D A D A
[D]â??Come now, Vinceâ?? she said, â??we can[A]â??t continue in this way
[D]Seems to me thereâ??s something on you[A]r mind.
Should [D]I accept a ride in a tiny [A]craft about your head
[D]Tell me, Vince, the truth what would I [A]find?â??
[G]Horse-drawn yawns upon the driveway, [D]Victory V ice cream in stock
[C]Eintracht Oblong,[G] I should oil my [D]chain.
[G]Our front door is Sagittarius, [D]Tibor's kids are underfed
And [C]Heswall Flower Club,[G] owe me one pound [D]twelve.[A]
[D]This is what youâ??d find if you wer[A]e in that craft today
[D]Doubtless different were you to re[A]turn.
I [D]would not blame you in the least if [A]you cut short the flight
[D]Make good your escape itâ??s not your c[A]oncern.
[G]Whereâ??s the beetroot? Where the ibex[D]? Dubbing mixer Freddie Slade
[C]Alpine lockjaw,[G] it was on the [D]cards.
[G]Can I buy inflatable dic[D]tators anywhere round here?
[C]Iron Age mums are [G]haunting my ca[D]goule.[A] [D] [G] [D] [G] [D] [G] [D] [A]
[D]Do stew, scoop off the roadkill.[C] [G]
[D]Straight sets, jet wash the Viceroy.[C] [G]
[D]Sore heel, sh*te on the back nine. [C] [G]
[D]Midge Ure looks like a milk thief.[C] [G]
I said [D]Midge Ure looks like a milk thief.[C] [G]
Come on, [D]Midge Ure looks like a milk thief.
[C]Youâ??re a fine lookin[G]g woman, Mirabelle.
[D]Midge Ure looks like a milk thief.
[C]You still with that [G]chiseller Idris?
[D]Midge Ure looks like a milk thief.
[C]Hey, heâ??s got the ginger beer c[G]oncession outside the British Museum.
[D]Midge Ure looks like a milk thief.
[C]We should go to [G]Halfords some time.
[D]Midge Ure looks like a milk thief.
[C]You and me [G]â?? not him.
[D]Midge Ure looks like a milk thief.[C] [G]
D C G (fade)
Midge Ure looks like a milk thief.
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