Carry on Cremating Half Man Half Biscuit
We're hardly the fruit[E] from a well-tended bana[A]na tree
We're [E]hardly the Bayeux in [A]rock's rich tapestry
[E]We were like two rubber ducks that [A]passed each other in the bath
[E]I can sound like Wally out of [A]Crossroads, Kath.
[D]She threw an apple in my [A]eye, cor blimey
[D]Alex Haley was adopted - [A]that's what's called a disappointment.
[E]When England won the World Cup [A]back in 1966
[E]Wembley must have been a sea of [A]smiles
Well [E]I think Kenneth Wolstenholme summed [A]up the moment really well
[E]When he said 'Just look at Nobby [A]Stiles' yeah.
[D]She threw an apple in my [A]eye, cor blimey
[D]Alex Haley was adopted - [A]that's what's called a disappointment.
Oh [E]they're still cremating Hattie [A]Jacques, I am not surprised
[E]Come on now, let's face it, she was [A]fat
It [E]usually takes for ever trying to [A]burn the grossly oversized
[E]Who would ever want to look like [A]that?
[D]She had a face that could [A]launch a thousand dredgers
[D]I could never get her on my [A]portable TV.
[D]She threw an apple in my [A]eye, cor blimey
[D]Alex Haley was adopted - [A]that's what's called a disappointment.
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